Category: God

What kind of Mom am I?

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Most Moms, sometime during their motherhood, have a complex (or Mom-plex) with their identity as a Mom.
What kind of Mom am I?
As soon as the baby is born, the crisis comes. Must. Decide. Right. Now.
The pressure is on. The expectation is there. What kind of mom will I be?

Beeecause…In 2013, you can be any mom you want to be – ALL the MOM magazines say so:
the best Housekeeper
the most Organized
the Designer
the Scrap-booker
the Baker
the Runner
the Seamstress
the Photographer
the Writer
the Farmer
the most Fashionable
the best Documenter
the Angry mom
the Weary mom 
the Funny mom
the Kindest mom
the Friendliest mom
the going to School mom
the Working mom…

Aaaand… adding fuel to the fire of a Mom-Plex is you must also be a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and/or Pinterest Mom.

Aaaand… the labels we attach to the Mom-Plex crisis in acronym form:
SAHM – stay at home mom
MOPS – mother of preschoolers
WM – working mom
MOT – mother of teenagers
OM – older mom
GM – grand mom
(YGTP – you get the picture…it’s enough to make every mom want to hide in the bathroom. forever.)

We tend to attach to the label we identify with when we are at our best and worst.

WHY MOMS???
Why do we do this to ourselves???
Stop the madness. 
It’s a WOT – waste of time. WOM – waste of money. and WOE – waste of energy.
(These are acronyms Adam and I made up a long time ago to make ourselves laugh in the face of situations we like to put labels on)

This week I had the opportunity to speak to a lovely group of MOPS ladies (who also happen to have preschoolers… and other children of various ages) at their MOPS meeting.
I was dressed up and ready to go as a fashionable mom, looking super ‘put together’ with my scarf and all. I packed up my kids, dropped off the two oldest at school, and headed to the meeting with my preschooler. As soon as I was on the road, I realized I only had one earring in. I almost turned around to go back home and get it, but I didn’t want to be late for the meeting (I’m late for almost everything, and this time I was trying really hard to be on time). So I turned around from almost going back home and ended up behind a tractor. Going 2 mph. Seriously? And it was raining. People in Ohio can’t drive in the rain. Oh well. 

It wasn’t worth getting angry. Years ago, I would’ve flipped out.
I had done that prior to a MOPS meeting once before…

When Soleil was a year-ish old, I was involved in the MOPS group at our church. I was running late to one of the meetings (no surprise) and stressing out (also, no surprise) when my stress was heightened to the point of anger (again, no surprise). I boiled over in a temper tantrum much like a two year old and kicked our kitchen cabinet. I thought I had broken my toe. I was angry enough to kick my kitchen cabinet because I was running late to a MOPS meeting? Really?! It made no sense what.so.ever. The last place I should be stressed out because I’m running late because I can’t pull my mom-crap together is a meeting. FOR MOMS. 

When I arrived (late), I hobbled in, looking weary and much like a stressed out mom. Perfect. I’m at a Moms meeting. So I confessed my plight to one of my mom friends. She laughed at me and told me it made her feel better to know I had anger issues, and to know she wasn’t the only stressed out mom who runs late to Mom meetings.   

Whew. This time was different. Miraculously I made it on time to speak at the MOPS meeting, in spite of the tractor and the rain… with my one earring, my one preschooler, and my heart to share my story. 
Me. And my one earring.

Just be who you are created to be… a mixture of all (or none) of the above… A Beautiful Mess. 

Moms. You’ve heard it and read it before. But you don’t believe it. We don’t have to have it all together.  In fact, if you do (supposedly) have it all together (which I highly doubt is even possible), it’s probably because you’re spending too much time on yourself and not enough time with your kids. Being a MOM.

The more honest we are with ourselves, the better Moms we will be. Today, we can proudly wear any kind of mom label we want to… but there’s something deeper… A stirring to be the Moms we are created to be. Maybe it’s something as simple as admiring the kind of mom your Grandma was, or aspiring to be a Little House on the Prairie Mom, like Caroline Ingalls. You don’t have to have a Mom-Plex. Shed the Mom labels you’ve found yourself tagged by, if they don’t reflect who you truly are. There is freedom. Ask. Pray. Seek. to be the Beautiful Mom-Mess you are created to be. 

In Him, Leslie

Facebook for 30 year olds …

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I signed up for Facebook in 2007. When I was 30 years old. 

Like most people, I signed up for Facebook to compare myself to other people… aaaand to be compared to other people.  
After all, that is how Facebook started… Comparing one college girl to another.
I just love that part of Facebook, don’t you?
hahaha…
Really, I signed up for FB because one of my close friends had just taken a trip to Alaska. As we were talking on the phone about her trip (remember the good ol’ days of using the phone to talk with your friends?), she told me about her trip pictures being on her FB account, and once we became FB friends I would be able to see her pictures.
My first response was, “Is this like having a Myspace account?” because that seems like a huge waste of time. [little did I know…]

Our very first FB profile picture. Awe… #memories.




So. As with every major decision in our lives, Adam and I discussed having a FB account. [and yes – to have, or not to have FB – was a major decision.] Wisdom, people. 

We decided on a joint account. A few friends have called us lazy… but we know better.

Shortly after signing up, we made lots of new “friends”.
At first, we were friended by and friending family and friends who lived in Oklahoma, NYC and other places we have lived. It was fun and exciting to share our lives and photos with loved ones we didn’t see or talk to every day.
…
We accumulated more friends… more and more friends who lived near us and were already involved in our lives. That’s when FB really changed for us. I even warned some of my friends (the ones I talk on the phone with) who didn’t have a FB yet…
Warning: Use FB with caution – It will change things. 
Now, I’m the first to admit I’m not always a very good friend, but I tried to warn them.
…
Whether you are under (or over) 30 years old…
It will suck you in.
It will waste your time.
It will change things…
It will change the way you see people.
It will change your expectations of people.
It will affect your emotions, your thoughts, and (for some) even the way you live out your day to day activities.
It will impact your curiosity (and we all know what that did to the cat).
I wonder what Susie Q is up to? Hmmm… I’ll just check her FB page.
How many ‘likes’ did my picture get?
How many comments?
Look how many friends I have!
Click. Click. Click. Accept. Accept. Accept.
Isn’t my status the best. status. eeeeever???

Facebook will cause you to compare and contrast your life – to others lives – in ways you never thought were lurking inside your brain. 

I do know of a few people in 2013 who are over 30 years old without a FB account… Yes. these people do exist. They are my friends. They live in houses (not caves). In America. They have the internet. They know full well that FB exists. And they live without it. And I applaud them.

I applaud them for resisting the temptation and cultural pressure to join FB. 
Facebook gives us access to each others lives with a freedom we were never meant to have (and certainly don’t need). And we freely give the key to each of our FB friends to unlock the door and peer inside our lives, leaving comments and likes, or sometimes just perusing and never commenting or liking, whenever they please. 

I don’t think Facebook is a good idea if you’re under 30 years old… or over 30 years old.

[Sooo, if you’re so annoyed with FB, why do you have a Facebook account?]

My sentiments exactly, I’m getting to that…

Can I live without FB? I’ve asked myself… and the answer is No.
I still want to use our FB account. But I want to use it wisely.
I don’t want to be caught up in the comparison trap FB originated from.
We have changed the way we use our FB account to include more wisdom…
Wisdom for what we allow ourselves to see and react to.
Wisdom for how much time we spend posting and perusing.
Wisdom for the amount of time we spend scrolling down the screen.
Wisdom for who we give our FB page key to.

Having FB wisdom will look different for every user… 

So. Proceed with caution and use Facebook wisely.

C’mon. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way about Facebook…
What ways are you using FB wisdom?  Share your ideas!

In Him, Leslie 

Pride & Roar

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We live in a middle-of-nowhere town in central Ohio called Pickerington… ever heard of it? No. well, neither had I [ever heard of it] until we moved here.
Let me describe it to you… it’s surrounded by corn fields… and another town called Reynoldsburg. That pretty much sums it up.
We do have a Target. Well, technically Reynoldsburg has the Target, but we are close neighbors, so it’s also our Target.

We moved to Pickerington from New York City in 2005. When we visited for our interview, at the church we now Pastor, we were whisked off of the plane and taken to a house in the middle-of-nowhere, nowhere. Are these people we just met from this church we’ve never been to going to abandon us out here and leave us for dead? The thought did cross my mind. 

Instead, we were warmly welcomed into a beautiful home in the middle-of-nowhere by a group of wonderful people interviewing us for the position of Youth Pastor and his wife and kid.
Afterward, we drove into a sea of corn fields Pickerington, and the drive was utter darkness… and silence. It was terrifying. Coming from New York City, where no one ever sleeps, and there are always lights on, and constant noise, into the darkness of the country and have I mentioned the corn fields? well, it was… interesting.

By the next morning, daylight had broken, we could see there was a Target {whew}, and we were in love with our (new) church.
Were we in love with Pickerington? Well… not so much, but we knew God called us to our church.

Now. Our town is famous. Pickerington’s own Central High School students made a video for the Katy Perry song Roar. They entered the contest, made it into the top 5, and Good Morning America is coming to the High School in the morning. We’re famous!
Our daughters dance studio – Passe – is also using the song Roar.
I’ve never been so proud to be a Pickerington – also known as other affectionate names I call it – Picktown – Picktizzytown – resident.
Yeah! Tiger Pride! Roar!

Sooo… just like anywhere or anyone famous, our town / school will have it’s time to shine in the limelight tomorrow. We might win the contest and Katy Perry will find her way thru the surrounding corn fields, she’ll also probably stop by Target, and make an appearance at the High School. Then what? 
Life as we know it in Picktown will go on as normal. 
Parents will go to work. Kids will go to school. Life will go on…
and Picktizzytown will always have its famous moment etched in their history books forever.

Yet I believe this historical moment is brewing something more in this town…
It is stirring up pride…
Renewing creativity, raising up voices, and reminding us to Roar.

Roar for what matters.
Roar for those who can’t voice it themselves.
Roar beside those who need encouragement.
Roar for the calling God has placed inside of you. 

This has been our hearts cry from the moment we moved to Picktizzytown.
Nothing has changed for us…
We are called by God to serve and love the people in our church, and our corn field community. 
That’s why we are here.
Katy Perry doesn’t change that…
but because of her song Roar, there is a stirring in our community that has been rising…

My prayer is for our community to Roar thru our great schools, businesses, homes and residents… and my prayer is for the many wonderful churches Pickerington.. that we would raise our voices, and Roar even louder for our God.

Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life ~ His presence in Pickerington will change this town for the ultimate good ~ more than any song, person or contest ever could.

After the lights dim and Good Morning America leaves, Life will go on in Picktown, even better than before… if we let our voices be heard loud and clear and Roar. 

In Him, Leslie

Dear Mom of {out of control} Children,

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Dear Mom of {out of control) Children,

I see you…
I see your whole life.
I see you are a hot mess.
I see your clenched fists and heavy shoulders.
I see you shrug those heavy shoulders and nearly give up.
I see you holding back salty tears.
I see the dam holding in your pain, cracked, ready to break open.
I see the weariness you walk in.
I see your anger rising.
I see your weaknesses on display…
I see your temper flaring…
I see you losing your patience… again. 
I see your hope diminishing.
Things will never. get. better. 
Regret fills your mind.

I hear you… 
yelling
screaming
gritting your teeth
disciplining thru a tense jaw
I hear your heavy hearted sigh.

Questions loom… 
‘What should I do differently?’
‘How many times should I yell, spank, ground, them, take things away, put them in time out?’
‘Why am I such a terrible mom?’

I hear you crying out…
to Me.

I know you… 
I know you can’t control your {out of control} children.
You can discipline.
You can rebuke.
You can admonish.
You can extend love, care, grace and mercy.
but you can’t control. 


They can be influenced, persuaded, modeled, inspired and prayed for…



but they can not be controlled.


I know your children…
They are 10, 8 and 6 year old little individuals.
They have their own personalities, quirks, ideas and opinions already fully embedded in their small frames and young minds.
We are all born with a rebellious nature. 
Your children can’t be controlled anymore than Cain could before he killed his brother Abel.
Can you imaging the motherly sorrow of Eve?
Before Joseph’s brothers threw him in the well.
Can you imagine Jacob’s grief, as he believed his beloved son was dead?
Before Miriam sent her baby brother Moses down the river in a basket.
Can you imagine the anguish Moses’ mother endured, hiding her son for three months, and then letting him go down the river?

Trust Me…
Trust My plan for your children.
Trust their design is no mistake.
They were never meant to be robots.
They are fully human and born into rebellion.
Their defiance is designed to put your reliance back on Me. 
Trust in Me for your parenting…
Trust in Me for your children…
I designed them the way they are.

Concern yourself only with what I think of you… 
And don’t worry what outsiders think, say or do in response to your {out of control} children.
They don’t know you like I do.
They don’t know you’ve only been walking with Me for a short while.
They don’t know your past.
They don’t know your life situation.
They don’t know your daily circumstances.
They don’t know what it means to ‘walk in your shoes’.
They don’t know how hard you’ve been trying… and now you are tired, worn out, ready to give up…
They don’t know that at the end of the day, you put your hands up, give up… and surrender all your worries, cares and concerns back on Me.

Keep your focus on Me… 
Keep your eyes fixed on Me.
Keep your ears tuned to My voice.
Keep your head high and look up.
Keep your hands out to surrender control.

Trust Me to be your parenting guide.
I will lead you and your children.

Love, Your heavenly Father ~ God

10 reasons why i’m not a good friend…

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can leslie come out and play?

i grew up with no shortage of friends.
i have always been extremely social.
large amounts of laughter and silliness were key to my friendships growing up…
and the same is still true today.
i am blessed with an abundance of friends, but…
as i grow older [and hopefully wiser] i find myself realizing, i’m not always that great of a friend…

Here are 10 reasons why:

#1. I like my coffee more than you. 
seriously, I do.
our friendship will need to involve coffee.
if this is something you can accept, we can be friends.

#2. I have a short attention span.
i’m a great talker. i’m not a great listener. if i’m not talking, i might fall asleep. because i {heart} sleep. during my senior year of high school i fell asleep talking with a friend on the phone about some very difficult circumstances in her life. she was talking, pouring her heart out to me… and i was drooling. i felt awful. being a good listener is a big part of being a good friend. so if you can accept my lack of good listening skills, and the fact that i might fall asleep while you’re talking, we can be friends.

#3. I will interrupt you.
not only will i possibly, maybe, most likely fall asleep sometime during the duration of our friendship, i will also definitely interrupt you {while you’re talking}. i’m not trying to be rude. but i get distracted <> easily, and can end up being unintentionally rude by interrupting, making my point known, forgetting where we <> left off last in our conversation. causing a cycle of rabbit trails to commence. if you can follow my rabbit trails, squirrley distractions and unintentional rudeness, we can be friends.

#4. I am terrible at thank you notes. 
i can not emphasize this enough — i am ter.ri.ble. at thank you notes. i am good at showering people with love and thank you’s in the moment, but i will very rarely write a ‘thank you’ note after the moment has passed. it’s even worse now with three kids who receive presents… i feel the pressure to write, and feel the guilt, but will rarely send a thank you note. so if you’re someone who needs ‘thank you’ note affirmation to be sure of our friendship, it’s not gonna work out. but if you’re okay with lowering your expectations in the ‘thank you’ note department, we can be friends.

#5. I am terrible at parties. 
birthday parties, 31 parties, pampered chef parties, origami owl parties, tea parties, really any kind of parties. in this world of throwing parties for every life event, there is no lack of parties to attend. and there’s only so much time in a day. occasionally we can party, but usually i don’t go because i can’t go. and a lot of times, my kid can’t attend your kids birthday parties. this is sometimes hard, but true. so if we can be friends and our kids can be friends without always joining the party, we can be friends.

#6. I get on my own nerves. 

i get on my own nerves. so i will get on yours too. and you will get on mine. it’s as simple as that. so if you’re okay with all that, we can be friends. 

#7. I am short tempered.
i have a short temper. and if we are friends, my anger issues will appear. most of the time i am displaying righteous anger, some of the time, i’m upset about what i can’t control. some of the time, i’m just irritable… or it’s my time of the month. whatever the reason, i can have a short temper… and if you’re patient with me, we can be friends.

#8. I am not always available. 
i’m a busy woman. my main jobs are as wife and mom. my secondary jobs are worship leader, women’s ministry, and everything else in between. these are the places i spend most of my time. if your kids are friends with my kids, we will probably spend more time together, than if they are not. because my kids will bug me to hang out with your kids, therefore i will be hanging out with you, mom of my kids friends. outside of being mom/wife/daughter/sister/worship leader/women’s ministry leader/everything else in between… i’m not available that much to hang out with. this makes it hard to maintain a good friendship. but some of my closest friends are those i don’t see that often. i am thankful for these friendships and the short sweet times we spend together. these friendships are more intense because we skip all of the formal pleasantries and dive right into deeper friendship waters. if you are okay with my lack of availability at times, we can be friends. 

#9. I am kind of intense. 
i can grow very intense about subjects i am passionate about, such as human trafficking, sex and money, overseas missions, the local church, and quitting church, my husband, our kids, our family… and my very best friend, my B.F.F. in the whole wide world ~ Jesus. if we’re friends, Jesus will come up in conversation. His name is always on my lips. i can be kind of intense about Him. sometimes i might seem too much, but trust me, Jesus is way more intense about me (and you) than we can ever (hope to… or not hope to?) be. if you can bear with my intense nature, we can be friends.

#10. I will disappoint you.

back when friends were knocking on my door asking, can Leslie come out to play? the expectations between friends were different. if we were sick of each other, we just went home. we took a break. we got over our hurt feelings. it was what it was. and if it wasn’t, it wasn’t. {profound, i know.} as we grow up, the complications in a friendship can grow… and communication with me can be frustrating at times, i’m sure… i’m not great at calling people back in a timely manner. and i’m forgetful about replying to text messages at times. so just know, i will disappoint you. and if you’re understanding about it, we can be friends. 
In conclusion… 
i’ve learned much about friendship in my 36 years of life thus far… i’m grateful for the friends i have and what i learn from them. i’ve had my share of friendship challenges, hurts, disappointments, failures, rejection, hope, healing, success and freedom. since Jesus is my best friend, i look to Him to teach me how to be a friend and who to seek out as friends. His Holy Spirit is my guide for how i spend my time with friends. i am fully aware [as you are now too] i’m not always a good friend. but neither are you. no one can be a good friend all the time. we will all share in growth, challenges and changes in the friendships we have. Jesus can teach us thru those times of disappointment, challenges, hurt and rejection and bring healing, hope, freedom and His Love. 
as we seek friends who stick closer than a brother [or sister] no matter what, know that Jesus is the only friend who will never disappoint, hurt, reject you ~ He is always available, always patient, will never falls asleep on you, will attend all your parties, return all your messages, won’t put the limitations of coffee on your friendship, you won’t get on his nerves, He is always intense about you, and He will always {again, always} stick closer than a brother. 
Proverbs 18:24
“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Have you had a unique experience with friendship growing, challenging or changing you? 
Has Jesus influenced your friendships?

Please share and thank you for reading!
In Him, Leslie