Most Moms, sometime during their motherhood, have a complex (or Mom-plex) with their identity as a Mom.
What kind of Mom am I?
As soon as the baby is born, the crisis comes. Must. Decide. Right. Now.
The pressure is on. The expectation is there. What kind of mom will I be?
Beeecause…In 2013, you can be any mom you want to be – ALL the MOM magazines say so:
the best Housekeeper
the most Organized
the most Fashionable
the best Documenter
the Angry mom
the Weary mom
the Funny mom
the Kindest mom
the Friendliest mom
the going to School mom
the Working mom…
Aaaand… adding fuel to the fire of a Mom-Plex is you must also be a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and/or Pinterest Mom.
Aaaand… the labels we attach to the Mom-Plex crisis in acronym form:
SAHM – stay at home mom
MOPS – mother of preschoolers
WM – working mom
MOT – mother of teenagers
OM – older mom
GM – grand mom
(YGTP – you get the picture…it’s enough to make every mom want to hide in the bathroom. forever.)
We tend to attach to the label we identify with when we are at our best and worst.
Why do we do this to ourselves???
Stop the madness.
It’s a WOT – waste of time. WOM – waste of money. and WOE – waste of energy.
(These are acronyms Adam and I made up a long time ago to make ourselves laugh in the face of situations we like to put labels on)
This week I had the opportunity to speak to a lovely group of
MOPS ladies (who also happen to have preschoolers… and other children of various ages) at their MOPS meeting.
I was dressed up and ready to go as a fashionable mom, looking super ‘put together’ with my scarf and all. I packed up my kids, dropped off the two oldest at school, and headed to the meeting with my preschooler. As soon as I was on the road, I realized I only had one earring in. I almost turned around to go back home and get it, but I didn’t want to be late for the meeting (I’m late for almost everything, and this time I was trying really hard to be on time). So I turned around from almost going back home and ended up behind a tractor. Going 2 mph. Seriously? And it was raining. People in Ohio can’t drive in the rain. Oh well.
It wasn’t worth getting angry. Years ago, I would’ve flipped out.
I had done that prior to a MOPS meeting once before…
When Soleil was a year-ish old, I was involved in the MOPS group at our church. I was running late to one of the meetings (no surprise) and stressing out (also, no surprise) when my stress was heightened to the point of anger (again, no surprise). I boiled over in a temper tantrum much like a two year old and kicked our kitchen cabinet. I thought I had broken my toe. I was angry enough to kick my kitchen cabinet because I was running late to a MOPS meeting? Really?! It made no sense what.so.ever. The last place I should be stressed out because I’m running late because I can’t pull my mom-crap together is a meeting. FOR MOMS.
When I arrived (late), I hobbled in, looking weary and much like a stressed out mom. Perfect. I’m at a Moms meeting. So I confessed my plight to one of my mom friends. She laughed at me and told me it made her feel better to know I had anger issues, and to know she wasn’t the only stressed out mom who runs late to Mom meetings.
|Me. And my one earring.|
Just be who you are created to be… a mixture of all (or none) of the above… A Beautiful Mess.
Moms. You’ve heard it and read it before. But you don’t believe it. We don’t have to have it all together. In fact, if you do (supposedly) have it all together (which I highly doubt is even possible), it’s probably because you’re spending too much time on yourself and not enough time with your kids. Being a MOM.
The more honest we are with ourselves, the better Moms we will be. Today, we can proudly wear any kind of mom label we want to… but there’s something deeper… A stirring to be the Moms we are created to be. Maybe it’s something as simple as admiring the kind of mom your Grandma was, or aspiring to be a Little House on the Prairie Mom, like Caroline Ingalls. You don’t have to have a Mom-Plex. Shed the Mom labels you’ve found yourself tagged by, if they don’t reflect who you truly are. There is freedom. Ask. Pray. Seek. to be the Beautiful Mom-Mess you are created to be.
In Him, Leslie