10 reasons why i’m not a good friend…

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can leslie come out and play?

i grew up with no shortage of friends.
i have always been extremely social.
large amounts of laughter and silliness were key to my friendships growing up…
and the same is still true today.
i am blessed with an abundance of friends, but…
as i grow older [and hopefully wiser] i find myself realizing, i’m not always that great of a friend…

Here are 10 reasons why:

#1. I like my coffee more than you. 
seriously, I do.
our friendship will need to involve coffee.
if this is something you can accept, we can be friends.

#2. I have a short attention span.
i’m a great talker. i’m not a great listener. if i’m not talking, i might fall asleep. because i {heart} sleep. during my senior year of high school i fell asleep talking with a friend on the phone about some very difficult circumstances in her life. she was talking, pouring her heart out to me… and i was drooling. i felt awful. being a good listener is a big part of being a good friend. so if you can accept my lack of good listening skills, and the fact that i might fall asleep while you’re talking, we can be friends.

#3. I will interrupt you.
not only will i possibly, maybe, most likely fall asleep sometime during the duration of our friendship, i will also definitely interrupt you {while you’re talking}. i’m not trying to be rude. but i get distracted <> easily, and can end up being unintentionally rude by interrupting, making my point known, forgetting where we <> left off last in our conversation. causing a cycle of rabbit trails to commence. if you can follow my rabbit trails, squirrley distractions and unintentional rudeness, we can be friends.

#4. I am terrible at thank you notes. 
i can not emphasize this enough — i am ter.ri.ble. at thank you notes. i am good at showering people with love and thank you’s in the moment, but i will very rarely write a ‘thank you’ note after the moment has passed. it’s even worse now with three kids who receive presents… i feel the pressure to write, and feel the guilt, but will rarely send a thank you note. so if you’re someone who needs ‘thank you’ note affirmation to be sure of our friendship, it’s not gonna work out. but if you’re okay with lowering your expectations in the ‘thank you’ note department, we can be friends.

#5. I am terrible at parties. 
birthday parties, 31 parties, pampered chef parties, origami owl parties, tea parties, really any kind of parties. in this world of throwing parties for every life event, there is no lack of parties to attend. and there’s only so much time in a day. occasionally we can party, but usually i don’t go because i can’t go. and a lot of times, my kid can’t attend your kids birthday parties. this is sometimes hard, but true. so if we can be friends and our kids can be friends without always joining the party, we can be friends.

#6. I get on my own nerves. 

i get on my own nerves. so i will get on yours too. and you will get on mine. it’s as simple as that. so if you’re okay with all that, we can be friends. 

#7. I am short tempered.
i have a short temper. and if we are friends, my anger issues will appear. most of the time i am displaying righteous anger, some of the time, i’m upset about what i can’t control. some of the time, i’m just irritable… or it’s my time of the month. whatever the reason, i can have a short temper… and if you’re patient with me, we can be friends.

#8. I am not always available. 
i’m a busy woman. my main jobs are as wife and mom. my secondary jobs are worship leader, women’s ministry, and everything else in between. these are the places i spend most of my time. if your kids are friends with my kids, we will probably spend more time together, than if they are not. because my kids will bug me to hang out with your kids, therefore i will be hanging out with you, mom of my kids friends. outside of being mom/wife/daughter/sister/worship leader/women’s ministry leader/everything else in between… i’m not available that much to hang out with. this makes it hard to maintain a good friendship. but some of my closest friends are those i don’t see that often. i am thankful for these friendships and the short sweet times we spend together. these friendships are more intense because we skip all of the formal pleasantries and dive right into deeper friendship waters. if you are okay with my lack of availability at times, we can be friends. 

#9. I am kind of intense. 
i can grow very intense about subjects i am passionate about, such as human trafficking, sex and money, overseas missions, the local church, and quitting church, my husband, our kids, our family… and my very best friend, my B.F.F. in the whole wide world ~ Jesus. if we’re friends, Jesus will come up in conversation. His name is always on my lips. i can be kind of intense about Him. sometimes i might seem too much, but trust me, Jesus is way more intense about me (and you) than we can ever (hope to… or not hope to?) be. if you can bear with my intense nature, we can be friends.

#10. I will disappoint you.

back when friends were knocking on my door asking, can Leslie come out to play? the expectations between friends were different. if we were sick of each other, we just went home. we took a break. we got over our hurt feelings. it was what it was. and if it wasn’t, it wasn’t. {profound, i know.} as we grow up, the complications in a friendship can grow… and communication with me can be frustrating at times, i’m sure… i’m not great at calling people back in a timely manner. and i’m forgetful about replying to text messages at times. so just know, i will disappoint you. and if you’re understanding about it, we can be friends. 
In conclusion… 
i’ve learned much about friendship in my 36 years of life thus far… i’m grateful for the friends i have and what i learn from them. i’ve had my share of friendship challenges, hurts, disappointments, failures, rejection, hope, healing, success and freedom. since Jesus is my best friend, i look to Him to teach me how to be a friend and who to seek out as friends. His Holy Spirit is my guide for how i spend my time with friends. i am fully aware [as you are now too] i’m not always a good friend. but neither are you. no one can be a good friend all the time. we will all share in growth, challenges and changes in the friendships we have. Jesus can teach us thru those times of disappointment, challenges, hurt and rejection and bring healing, hope, freedom and His Love. 
as we seek friends who stick closer than a brother [or sister] no matter what, know that Jesus is the only friend who will never disappoint, hurt, reject you ~ He is always available, always patient, will never falls asleep on you, will attend all your parties, return all your messages, won’t put the limitations of coffee on your friendship, you won’t get on his nerves, He is always intense about you, and He will always {again, always} stick closer than a brother. 
Proverbs 18:24
“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Have you had a unique experience with friendship growing, challenging or changing you? 
Has Jesus influenced your friendships?

Please share and thank you for reading!
In Him, Leslie 

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