C’mon, you all know you’ve said them, thought them,
or at least listened to them.
When I was younger, I thought cussing was “cool”.
Once I incorporated a few choice words into my vocabulary,
I instantly felt “cooler”.
I was culturally relevant.
One day, during my 7th grade year, I was caught saying sh*t on the playground.
I was given the punishment of standing on the sidelines, while the rest of my classmates finished their recess break.
I was a little embarrassed, but really didn’t think it was a big deal that warranted such an unjust punishment.
I used bad words flippantly, off-handedly, carelessly. Cussing was a part of my every day vocab.
Soon after was a time in my life when I thought something called “Perfection” existed… And could be attained. By me.
It was hard – every time I wanted to resist the urge to cuss when I was angry, upset or just feeling “cool”, I would slip up.
An explicative would come flying out of my mouth.
Sometimes thru a clenched jaw and gritted teeth.
The words just hung there
Floating in the air
Unable to be erased
But not unforgiveable
I believed a lie – if I followed Jesus, I would / could / should work toward perfection – which included no more cussing.
Then after becoming a mom, I discovered new reasons to cuss. I stubbed my toe on a toy.
The kids are fighting.
I’m stressed out, I’m tired, I’m hungry.
We are running late…again.
Cussing became more complicated when my oldest daughter Soleil (then 2 years old) repeated the ‘F’ word after hearing me say it.
Every time I told her – “don’t say that word, mommy shouldn’t say it either”, she would repeat.
This went on for about 2 weeks, until I stopped bringing as much attention to it. Thankfully, the ‘F’ word is not a part of her (now seven year old) vocabulary.
My life went on and I am older, wiser, still not perfect and I still cuss from time to time.
But I don’t just want to cuss for the hell of it.
I now have a new appreciation for foul language.
I use my harsh words in prayer, and wield them toward the devil. There is nothing nice I can say about him.
There are things in this world that are unjust, inhumane, and evil – they need to be called out –
And cussed out.