Category: Parenting

March Madness

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The month of March can be a maddening month for us.  and it has absolutely nothing to do with the NCAA.  or basketball of any kind.  basketball bores me to tears.  I was randomly switching channels the other night, which is rare because if I have the remote it is because I am turning on PBS for the wee babs to watch cartoons.  but on this rare evening I was switching channels and stumbled upon a basketball game.  i watched it.  for a few seconds.  i started to tear up and cringe. i couldn’t take the squeak of the shoes.  sorry to offend any basketball lovers who read our blog.

So, back to our Babs March Madness…

There are several reasons the month of March can be maddening for our family – here are the top 5:

1. the weather
2. it seems like an extra long month because February is short, so we find ourselves pleading to just get it over with
3. extra hectic schedules
4. our taxes are due in a few weeks and i am not organized and my ducks are rarely in a row, so i am usually stressing to get our crap together at the last minute, and because PA is a Pastor, we always owe
5. i typically have a “I can’t take winter anymore!” meltdown in March

But this March has been strangely different…


1. we have had amazing weather.  we think this is happening due to global warming.  a few years ago we watched the Al Gore global warming movie “An Inconvenient Truth”. we were convinced global warming was the worst. thing. ever.  but since the weather in central Ohio has been so unseasonably amazing this March, we are cool with global warming.
2. February had an extra day this year, so… so far, March seems like it’s flying by
3. even though our schedules are just as hectic as they typically are, this March is also filled with a lot of fun stuff, like conferences and friends coming into town to visit and good weather. and since the weather has been so amazing we’ve been outside a lot, which puts our whole family in a way. better. mood.
4. i’ve spent so many months of March stressing about our taxes that i’ve finally learned i will never be organized enough to not stress at all, even if it’s just a little. and i’m okay with that. we always save to pay, so the owing money part is no longer a surprise to us, making March tax prep season a little easier to get thru each year.
5. it’s now March 19th.  we are over half way thru the month and i have not a had a March meltdown.  in previous March months, the meltdowns have been triggered by stress and winter dragging on and on.  one March, we had a huge winter storm and i didn’t leave my house for 5 days.  i almost went insane.  this year, thanks to global warming, the time outside has helped prevent any major meltdowns.

And so has God.  really, i can only give Him all the glory for protecting me from madness and insanity happening this March. Yes, He is ultimately in control of the weather and all that jazz, but it’s more than just a surface warm weather phenomena.  it’s not about global warming.  or hectic schedules.  or taxes that are due. this March has been strangely different.  God has changed my heart and i can see how He has been teaching me all along.  i am so thankful this March.  i am fully enjoying the present moments.    

i am because He Is.
God is greater than any March madness or meltdowns or hectic schedules or taxes we have to pay or global warming.

He transcends time and turns March madness into fully enjoying all of the March Moments.

Dear Soleil~

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Dear Soleil ~ at this time in your life, most of the world sees you as painfully shy and maybe… maybe even some might see you as weak.  and you are shy, around most people. but, your family ~ we know you are extremely discerning and strong.  it is not easy to live like you do, in between two worlds.  and you are learning.  learning about not being of the world while living on the earth.  it can be painful.  it’s not easy to stand up for what you believe in. even when you are standing in silence.  it’s not easy to let go of expectations that are high and then quickly disappointed.
then, there are some days we worry.  we worry that you might be too much of a follower.  that you are too quiet when you should be more vocal.  that you would rather stay behind the scenes instead of taking your place on the stage to shine.  and even though there might be moments, or even seasons when you do follow… we remember.  we know whose you are.  we trust Jesus to hold you, protect you, strengthen you and carry you.  we know that you are following Him.

and as you grow, it will not become easier.  

sure, there is a part of me that wishes i could tell you it will get easier.  that life will be fair and balanced… and organized.  and clean and tidy.  and all your ducks will be in a row.  and all of your dreams will come true.  and life will become a fairy tale if you believe in yourself.  well… you know i never tell you that.  but isn’t that what all the movies for little girls say?  “just believe in yourself.  just believe.” we’ve watched so many of these movies, some of them hundreds of times.  but you know.  you already know!  life is not a fairy tale.  wishes upon the stars are not true.  penny’s will not bring you luck.  and there is no fairy god mother who comes to your side every time you shed a tear, ready to sparkle you from head to toe and send you to the ball.
you know.
you know you have a daddy, a mommy, a brother and a sister who come to your side and comfort you every time you shed a tear.  who squeeze you with big hugs, smother you with kisses and make you laugh when you are upset.  you know you have a God who is greater than any fairy tale story could ever peg. and He is by your side every moment of everyday.

you know.  
there is a specific code, time of day and special key that will unlock your heart and soul.  and it helps if there is a full moon and if the stars are aligned… not really, but…  😉  once you open up, the wisdom you share, the beauty that you speak, the love that you give is amazing.  it fills us up!  and for those… those very few, who are blessed to be close to you, it fills them up too.  

we don’t want you to conform to this world. and you don’t.  you are living between two worlds ~ beautifully.  with conviction and grace. you see beyond the surface.  already, you know such depth of the Lord.  and you are only seven.  

you bless us Soleil.  we are amazed by who you are.  thank you for being you.  there are no words descriptive enough to say how much we love you.  so we just say it.  over and over and over again.  until you get tired of hearing it.  we love you.
~your fam 🙂

Noted. By Les Babs

I hope You dance

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I noticed it; again...

Not that I’d never noticed before. I am, after all; a people watcher. a student of culture. a keen observer of social science.

I took my daughter to a school father/daughter dance and I noticed:

That, most guys are awkward when it comes to being with their daughters- they either are seemingly distracted from her by a cell phone, disconnected from her by side conversations with other guys in attendance and talking about sports or hunting or some other  b.s. that seems to be more important, or they are all together distant from the situation, not really present at all. Just somewhere else- physically, mentally, -maybe even both

Tonite, I observed all 3 of the above at multiple times with multiple dad’s & their daughters. Distracted Dad’s. Disconnected Dad’s. Distant Dad’s.


Now you are probably thinking-“that’s pretty dang judgemental & who named you the Sigmund Freud of Father’s at dances anyway.”

Not a judgement, an observation- Of Myself….I have been “that dad”. All 3 of them in fact, sometimes all at once. I feel awkward walking into a room of dude’s I don’t know, I make valid reasons in my head to be disconnected, distracted, distant. And it’s so easy to be like this- especially when you sense every guy in the room is just doing the same.. just getting through the evening so he can go home and do something else more important- like watch ESPN or something else to distract him from true beauty.

There is something within us as Men that can cause us to succumb to a feeling of carelessness when a moment, an event, an evening with a child… does not focus on us or on our interests.

We give in to this sin of selfish distraction and our daughters suffer. They lose hope of the love they desperately desire that only a Dad can reflect… a Dad that loves in such a way that He foolishly dances with His daughter.

I noticed that tonite too…  I saw a Dad being a fool of himself…. His moves were definitely more like 1992 than 2012, But he strutted his stuff like no body’s business, and nobody mattered but that one girl he brought with him- his daughter.

No Distraction. No Disconnection. No Distance. Just Dancing.

I noticed I was jealous; jealous of the abandon this Dad possessed, the abandon that all Dad’s possess yet push away. The abandon to ditch everything and everyone else and focus on the one in front of you, the one you came to be with, the reason you are there in the first place. your Child.

And I think about God. I think if He was at a School dance we would not observe Him being distracted, disconnected, or even distant. I think He would be making a complete fool of himself, even embarrassing Himself with the careless, over-the-top love He has for His child. He would dance like no Dad has danced before. He would Dance because that is why He came in the first place. And every child in the room would be waiting in line for Him.

I noticed something tonite. I want to be more like God and less like me. I want to be that Dad that dances with his daughter while other guys just sit and stare.

Then maybe they can blog about the Dad who made a fool of himself, dancing with the one He loves…

noted by: Adam B

the truth is…

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i didn’t know what a blog was until this past summer.  in fact, i didn’t even know they existed.  and now i’m all about blogs.  bloggin’.  lovin’ the blog life.  blah, blah, blah. blog, blog, blog.
it can be hard to write blogs, but i am lovin’ it.  the truth is… i was planning to write a blog with P.A. (in honor of v-day) about having a marvelous marriage; in all areas-friendship, communication, trust, selflessness, respect, intimacy, sex, etc… but i changed my mind.  as usual.  but look for it soon. 
so the truth is… 
i have coffee breath 90% of the time, and if i don’t… i will check to see if I have a fever, because there is probably something wrong with me.  i don’t typically chew gum or suck on mints, so if you talk to me, most likely you will also be talking to my coffee breath.  hope that won’t affect our relationship.
i carry a cup of coffee with me 90% of the places that i go, and if i don’t… it’s because i am on my way to buy a coffee… OR, i might have a fever, because there is something wrong with me.  if it’s the latter, i will probably not go anywhere and just stay at home, where i have access to a coffee maker as soon as i’m feeling better.
i LOVE driving fast.  contrary to what we are taught in drivers ed, i like to drive aggressively, not defensively.  we live in central ohio where most of my life consists of driving up and down a 2 lane road, that turns into a 4 lane road with tons of traffic lights along the way.  the truth is… it takes me longer to get out of town than it does to drive down the highway into downtown.  i love the challenge of getting from my house to the highway as fast as i can, speeding up to coast thru the yellow lights, and weaving in and out of the slower drivers around me.  which are basically all the other drivers. 
i miss driving in new york city.  for the 3+ years we lived there, we were those crazy people who wanted to live like suburbanites in the city; and also keep our car and deal with all of the parking tickets, lack of parking places, and all of the stress that comes with driving in nyc.  i loved the challenge of finding and fighting for parking places, cutting people off and weaving in and out of lanes.  never too fast in the city though, because you can’t drive much over 20 mph due to traffic.  
our house is medium sized (about 1,800 square feet), but i wish it were a little bit smaller. our fam of five loves being together.  with the exception of school and work, we spend most of our time in the same room.  or within a few hundred feet of each other.  i rarely go to the bathroom without the pitter patter of little feet nearby.  and i really don’t mind. wasted space makes me cringe.  
if you come over to visit and my house IS clean, it’s most likely because i transferred the piles of papers and moved the dirt from one part of the house to another.  out of sight, out of mind, ya know?
i wish my fam didn’t have to work or go to school.  i love and long for the days when the wee babs are out of school and P.A. is not working.  i wish we could just be together all the time.  the truth is... i would love that!
i think way.  too.  much.  about.  clothes.  and shoes.  and wish i didn’t.  it takes up to much brain space in my head.
i waver between insecurity and confidence.  shocking.  i know you probably thought i had it all together.  just keep reading my blogs, you’ll see the ‘real me’ 😉
i trust GOD, but i also worry about all of the things i can’t control.  which is a lot of things.
and this is the truth about me.  what are some truths about you? 
with love, happy valentines day.

Yesterday, I lost my mind

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Yesterday was one of those days… You know the ones.  Where your 2-year-old wakes you up at waaaaaay too early o’clock in the morning, screaming, “Ake up Mommy,  AKE UP!” while pulling on your covers. One of my biggest pet peeves is when anyone pulls my covers off of me.  That’s my job.  I don’t need any help with my covers.  Before I could even say, “it’s too early, go back to your bed”, I had a headache to kick off the day.

I was emotionally, mentally and physically drained before I even got out of bed.

I had hit my boiling point.  Frustrations had piled up and were weighing heavily on my shoulders.  My 2-year-old screaming was the thing that sent me over the edge.  You know those things.  The piled up frustrations/worries/fears/anxieties that you hold in/push down/shove under the rug… until something small morphs into something big.  Something simple, that you could normally handle as “no problem”, becomes the biggest deal on the face of the planet…and you lose your mind.
As custom with my emotional roller coaster days, the rest of the day followed suite.  I took out my frustrations on the wee Babs, P.A., the dishes, the dirty laundry, the dinner…. and myself.
I lost my mind.

I ran out of Grace.

Eventually, I put myself to bed.  at 8pm.

But before I gave myself a time out – the dishes, dirty laundry, dinner, P.A. and the wee Bab’s were the brunt of my lack of grace.
I had ZERO patience for P.A. and the wee Babs.  I cleaned the dishes with contempt.  I threw the dirty laundry around.  I wrestled with dinner until… I won.
All of this while I was feeling guilty, and growing more and more angry with myself.
I didn’t really win anything.  I hated the way I was treating my fam, the chores, and the feelings I had toward myself.  But I couldn’t stop the emotional roller coaster of ugly events.
I had lost all sense of reasonableness… and run out of Grace.  
After reflecting, forgiving myself, and asking forgiveness from my family, I could see I needed a break for myself.  Not just a “I need to get away from my kids/out of the house for a few hours” break, but Grace.  I needed Grace… for myself.  2 Corinthians 12:9.

Grace is a Gift from God.

There is no way to manufacture it, conjure it up, or create it within ourselves.  It can only be received from God.  If we don’t accept His Grace for ourselves, we can’t extend it to others.  Only the Grace He gives can overflow from our own hearts, and then be extended to others.

God’s Grace is His patience with us. His forgiveness toward us. His unending love for us.

I am thankful for God’s Gift of Grace, and for those moments when He reminds me how much I need His Grace.  For Myself.  And for others… including my dishes, dirty laundry and dinner.  Amen.
How are you experiencing God’s Grace in your own life?

Noted. By Les Babs