Conspiracy Theory

I am a conspiracy theorist.

This wonderful trait was passed down to me by my Dad.  Thanks Dad.

And this wonderful trait was enhanced after I read George Orwell’s book, 1984.  And later when I saw the movie Conspiracy Theory, with Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts.

Sometimes my conspiracy theorizing brain just goes crazy…

with assumptions. conclusions. and more than likely made up stories.

Some might call this being paranoid…  but I call it being aware of my surroundings.

Often these theories develop when my brain has idle time after I’ve seen something that triggers a conspiracy happening.

Given enough idle mind time, I could become a professional conspiracy theorist. Scary, isn’t it?

Thankfully, I don’t have much idle time, but when I do…

These are some of the conspiracy theories, assumptions and conclusions I’ve come up with while running and living life in my hood…

When I see a white van with darkened windows and no company markings on the outside of the van, I assume there is a kidnapper in that van.

When I see someone walk up to a car, talk to the driver for a moment, hand them something and receive something in exchange, I assume it is a drug deal.

When I see the price of vegetables and fruit skyrocket at the grocery store, while McD’s dollar menu remains the same, it is because “they” want us to be unhealthy and eventually need more medical care.

When I see gas prices at an all time high, I assume the oil companies are greedy and all they care about it our money.

When I see all of the commercials for all of the different medicines available to cure one thing or another, while causing side affects that will require 5 more pills to cure the initial problem, I assume it’s because “they” are trying to over medicate us and eventually take all of our money.

When I see a kid screaming, crying and out of control, I assume the parents are push-overs.

When I see someone staring at me, I assume it is because I have toilet paper hanging out of my pants.

When we have our windows open and I smell cigarette smoke, it’s because someone is probably standing on the sidewalk trying to spy on us… 
When I think someone might be spying on us, I assume it’s because I am onto something with all of my theories.  

When I see my number of facebook friends go up and down, without me adding or deleting any “friends”, I assume it’s because… nah, never mind… that will just sound too crazy.


Now I realize most of these silly conspiracy theories are not even close to being true. Most days these silly stories don’t even cross my mind. Most days are just normal days…

Or perhaps, not so normal.

Like when I sent my 2nd grade daughter to her elementary school yesterday and they have a lock down.

Not just a “practice” lock down.  But a real lock down.

Apparently, there was a distraught gunman reported to be seen near one of the schools in town.  For precaution, they put all of the schools within the area, on lock down. The person matching the description was not found in the area, so the lock down lifted and the day went on as “normal”.

Was the person reporting another fellow conspiracy theorist?  Perhaps.

Or perhaps there was a gunman.

Sometimes, conspiracy theories can come true.  bad things happen to good people. danger is around us.  that’s not a theory.

Everyday we pray for God’s protection to surround our entire family.  We pray for our kids everyday before they go to school.  They pray at school. We pray while they’re at school.

I asked Soleil if she was afraid at school.  She said “No”.  She told her friend Myah, “You know Who is protecting us, right?” Myah said, “Yea, I know.” and Soleil said, “God.” They were praying together during the lock down. I couldn’t be more proud.

I can concoct some pretty radical theories in my brain, but regardless of there reliability, I don’t need to fear evil or danger.  I know God is my Shepherd and He is in control (John 10:1-18).

What are some of the craziest conspiracy theories your brain has concocted?

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4 thoughts on “Conspiracy Theory

  1. Adam & Emily says:

    I think you know what theories my brain is concocting right now. My silly human brain. But, as I recently (re)discovered, Isaiah 6:1… “I saw the Lord sitting on a throne.” He's seated on the throne…not pacing, not shaking, not worrying…He's seated because He's in control.

    Like

  2. Linnae Boyer says:

    Okay, I try not to comment on blogs too much, but this one… I just had to.So glad your babies are cool! My conspiracy: I don't trust cameras that are connected or built in to computers. I think it's the government way in. This includes xbox kinect and others like it. I'm half serious, half not sure if I should be more serious. Dear Government, I know you are watching, and I want you to know that I trust you and your intentions implicitly.

    Like

  3. The Babs says:

    Yes, I know… thank you Emily for reading, commenting and reminding me of another amazing verse describing God's trustworthiness and capability to “handle” everything under the sun, including my rebellious heart!

    Like

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