Category: Truth

how’s the weather?

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He gives the sunshine and the cloudy days.

the phone rings.
a familiar voice.
moments of chatter.
then.
there’s the silence.
the long, awkward pause.
the conversation on hold.
only temporarily.
a simple question breaks the silence.

how’s the weather? 

where we live?
in Ohio?
it’s snowing.

where they live?
in the Philippines?
it’s blowing.

blowing a hole in their lives.
bringing a void of life and dragging it down unto death.
a typhoon of destruction swept thru and changed. life. forever.

how’s the weather?
what kind of question is that?
when there’s conversational space to be filled and nothing else better to say, it’s a fill-in-the blank question that lingers, awaiting the most simple answer. it is what it is.
how’s the weather?

and our response…
a cool breeze, with sunny skies, spirits are high.
or…
the clouds hang low, the cold clings to our bones and depression moans.

how’s the weather?
we can complain about it.
we can care about it.
we can compare about it.

but…
we can’t control it.
we can’t control it. 

and when we see the devastation covering the news stations… there’s the reminder… what remains is the truth there is so much we. can’t. control.

we plan out the day // organized // ordered // ordained // how we want our lives to be…
we set out for the day // with the plans // the ideas // the schedules we’ve made…
when at the root of our lives, there is so much we have no control over.

we are not in control. 

The Creator Is.
The Creator God.

He gives the sunshine and the cloudy days.

and we respond.
to the sunshine, the clouds, and the typhoon.

we can give.
we can pray.
we can hope.
we can respond.

at the root of our lives, we have control over our response. 
how will we weather… the weather? 

…

Our hearts cry out in anguish over the lives lost and suffering surrounding the Philippines.
Mere words can not adequately express our sorrow.
Our prayer is for the mystery to be revealed and understood… whether in a desert, or a typhoon, hope joy and peace can be found. 

“And the ransomed of the Lord shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be on their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.” 
Isaiah 35:10

In Him, Leslie

Halloween

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Boo. 

It’s that time of year for costumes, candy corn and creepers to come out of the closet.  

Orange lights are blazing and fake spiders are spinning webs all over my neighborhood while kids everywhere are gearing up for the night of their lives, dressing up and skipping from door to door asking their stranger neighbors for candy which will eventually lead to the demise of their teeth.
aaaand…It’s that time of year for some of us to debate about whether or not we will allow our kids to trick-or-treat gather and hoard loads of candy they receive from the stranger neighbors.

In years past our family has celebrated 10-31 as just another day where we hibernate making our home into a cave from the hours of 6-8pm. We close all the doors, turn off all our lights, lay on the floor and tell our kids not to make a peep. So no one will know we are home.

Low and behold, we would still get knocks on our front door. Our neighbors weren’t fooled. The darkness and silence didn’t stop them from knocking on the door. Still, we ignored them.

We have also avoided the neighborhood trick-or-treat dilemma by truly leaving the house and attending a harvest party or trunk-or-treat at our church.

This year our family is doing something different. We are hosting a party in our garage and decorating with a carnival atmosphere. We are dressing up, passing out candy and popcorn. We hope to engage with our neighbors beyond the ring of the doorbell, opening the creaky door, hearing trick-or-treat and flashing them a smile while throwing candy in their bag. We hope to see our neighbors hidden under costumes, masks and makeup. We hope to invite our neighbors into our lives and begin to know them beyond the facade of fun.

Hmmm… but our family doesn’t even like Halloween. Our kids don’t even care about costumes (well, sometimes they dress up), or candy (well, sometimes they eat it), or creepers (well, never). We don’t even consider 10-31 a holiday. It’ll be just another manic Thursday… oooh wee oh.  (You’ll get that reference later)

So. You might love Halloween, you might hate Halloween, or you might fall somewhere in between. I don’t care. 
What I do care about is considering the craze of Halloween. 
This year, consider…

Consider the candy. 
Can we pass out healthy candy? Well, no. It doesn’t exist. But don’t freak out about what your passing out. And consider what your kids are receiving. Our kids know their candy limits. We usually throw most of it away by Thanksgiving. What a waste. Consider the waste and limit the intake.

Consider the costumes.
Seriously, consider the costumes. Their cost. Their effort. Their energy. Most people have already planned or purchased their costumes by now… but if not, consider recycling something you already have. Consider a costume swap. Consider what you allow your kids to dress up as. Are they appropriate costumes? Okay, I’d better stop there or I’ll be labeled as (gasp) judgmental (if I haven’t already).

Consider your convictions.
10-31 is just another day for some. They give it no more thought past buying the costumes and the candy. For others, it is greatly debated whether or not they will be involved a little, a lot, or at all. At what level are you celebrating Halloween? Consider what it means to celebrate this day. You can google the meaning behind the roots of this particular day and the celebrations of its origins. Consider your convictions. Don’t do something or buy candy and dress your kids up, just because everyone else is doing it. Maybe you need a night to shut off the lights, and lay silent on your living room floor.  Maybe you love spending your money on costumes and candy.  Maybe your family is being called to take a greater part in your community beggars night.

Consider the craze.
There is a craze in anticipation of 10-31, with sales close to the shopping craze of Christmas. Nothing is worth stressing over. Especially this day of the week we call Thursday. So Consider… 
“Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” Colosisans 3:17 

In Him, Leslie
…
What are your plans on 10-31?

 

What kind of Mom am I?

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Most Moms, sometime during their motherhood, have a complex (or Mom-plex) with their identity as a Mom.
What kind of Mom am I?
As soon as the baby is born, the crisis comes. Must. Decide. Right. Now.
The pressure is on. The expectation is there. What kind of mom will I be?

Beeecause…In 2013, you can be any mom you want to be – ALL the MOM magazines say so:
the best Housekeeper
the most Organized
the Designer
the Scrap-booker
the Baker
the Runner
the Seamstress
the Photographer
the Writer
the Farmer
the most Fashionable
the best Documenter
the Angry mom
the Weary mom 
the Funny mom
the Kindest mom
the Friendliest mom
the going to School mom
the Working mom…

Aaaand… adding fuel to the fire of a Mom-Plex is you must also be a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and/or Pinterest Mom.

Aaaand… the labels we attach to the Mom-Plex crisis in acronym form:
SAHM – stay at home mom
MOPS – mother of preschoolers
WM – working mom
MOT – mother of teenagers
OM – older mom
GM – grand mom
(YGTP – you get the picture…it’s enough to make every mom want to hide in the bathroom. forever.)

We tend to attach to the label we identify with when we are at our best and worst.

WHY MOMS???
Why do we do this to ourselves???
Stop the madness. 
It’s a WOT – waste of time. WOM – waste of money. and WOE – waste of energy.
(These are acronyms Adam and I made up a long time ago to make ourselves laugh in the face of situations we like to put labels on)

This week I had the opportunity to speak to a lovely group of MOPS ladies (who also happen to have preschoolers… and other children of various ages) at their MOPS meeting.
I was dressed up and ready to go as a fashionable mom, looking super ‘put together’ with my scarf and all. I packed up my kids, dropped off the two oldest at school, and headed to the meeting with my preschooler. As soon as I was on the road, I realized I only had one earring in. I almost turned around to go back home and get it, but I didn’t want to be late for the meeting (I’m late for almost everything, and this time I was trying really hard to be on time). So I turned around from almost going back home and ended up behind a tractor. Going 2 mph. Seriously? And it was raining. People in Ohio can’t drive in the rain. Oh well. 

It wasn’t worth getting angry. Years ago, I would’ve flipped out.
I had done that prior to a MOPS meeting once before…

When Soleil was a year-ish old, I was involved in the MOPS group at our church. I was running late to one of the meetings (no surprise) and stressing out (also, no surprise) when my stress was heightened to the point of anger (again, no surprise). I boiled over in a temper tantrum much like a two year old and kicked our kitchen cabinet. I thought I had broken my toe. I was angry enough to kick my kitchen cabinet because I was running late to a MOPS meeting? Really?! It made no sense what.so.ever. The last place I should be stressed out because I’m running late because I can’t pull my mom-crap together is a meeting. FOR MOMS. 

When I arrived (late), I hobbled in, looking weary and much like a stressed out mom. Perfect. I’m at a Moms meeting. So I confessed my plight to one of my mom friends. She laughed at me and told me it made her feel better to know I had anger issues, and to know she wasn’t the only stressed out mom who runs late to Mom meetings.   

Whew. This time was different. Miraculously I made it on time to speak at the MOPS meeting, in spite of the tractor and the rain… with my one earring, my one preschooler, and my heart to share my story. 
Me. And my one earring.

Just be who you are created to be… a mixture of all (or none) of the above… A Beautiful Mess. 

Moms. You’ve heard it and read it before. But you don’t believe it. We don’t have to have it all together.  In fact, if you do (supposedly) have it all together (which I highly doubt is even possible), it’s probably because you’re spending too much time on yourself and not enough time with your kids. Being a MOM.

The more honest we are with ourselves, the better Moms we will be. Today, we can proudly wear any kind of mom label we want to… but there’s something deeper… A stirring to be the Moms we are created to be. Maybe it’s something as simple as admiring the kind of mom your Grandma was, or aspiring to be a Little House on the Prairie Mom, like Caroline Ingalls. You don’t have to have a Mom-Plex. Shed the Mom labels you’ve found yourself tagged by, if they don’t reflect who you truly are. There is freedom. Ask. Pray. Seek. to be the Beautiful Mom-Mess you are created to be. 

In Him, Leslie

Facebook for 30 year olds …

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I signed up for Facebook in 2007. When I was 30 years old. 

Like most people, I signed up for Facebook to compare myself to other people… aaaand to be compared to other people.  
After all, that is how Facebook started… Comparing one college girl to another.
I just love that part of Facebook, don’t you?
hahaha…
Really, I signed up for FB because one of my close friends had just taken a trip to Alaska. As we were talking on the phone about her trip (remember the good ol’ days of using the phone to talk with your friends?), she told me about her trip pictures being on her FB account, and once we became FB friends I would be able to see her pictures.
My first response was, “Is this like having a Myspace account?” because that seems like a huge waste of time. [little did I know…]

Our very first FB profile picture. Awe… #memories.




So. As with every major decision in our lives, Adam and I discussed having a FB account. [and yes – to have, or not to have FB – was a major decision.] Wisdom, people. 

We decided on a joint account. A few friends have called us lazy… but we know better.

Shortly after signing up, we made lots of new “friends”.
At first, we were friended by and friending family and friends who lived in Oklahoma, NYC and other places we have lived. It was fun and exciting to share our lives and photos with loved ones we didn’t see or talk to every day.
…
We accumulated more friends… more and more friends who lived near us and were already involved in our lives. That’s when FB really changed for us. I even warned some of my friends (the ones I talk on the phone with) who didn’t have a FB yet…
Warning: Use FB with caution – It will change things. 
Now, I’m the first to admit I’m not always a very good friend, but I tried to warn them.
…
Whether you are under (or over) 30 years old…
It will suck you in.
It will waste your time.
It will change things…
It will change the way you see people.
It will change your expectations of people.
It will affect your emotions, your thoughts, and (for some) even the way you live out your day to day activities.
It will impact your curiosity (and we all know what that did to the cat).
I wonder what Susie Q is up to? Hmmm… I’ll just check her FB page.
How many ‘likes’ did my picture get?
How many comments?
Look how many friends I have!
Click. Click. Click. Accept. Accept. Accept.
Isn’t my status the best. status. eeeeever???

Facebook will cause you to compare and contrast your life – to others lives – in ways you never thought were lurking inside your brain. 

I do know of a few people in 2013 who are over 30 years old without a FB account… Yes. these people do exist. They are my friends. They live in houses (not caves). In America. They have the internet. They know full well that FB exists. And they live without it. And I applaud them.

I applaud them for resisting the temptation and cultural pressure to join FB. 
Facebook gives us access to each others lives with a freedom we were never meant to have (and certainly don’t need). And we freely give the key to each of our FB friends to unlock the door and peer inside our lives, leaving comments and likes, or sometimes just perusing and never commenting or liking, whenever they please. 

I don’t think Facebook is a good idea if you’re under 30 years old… or over 30 years old.

[Sooo, if you’re so annoyed with FB, why do you have a Facebook account?]

My sentiments exactly, I’m getting to that…

Can I live without FB? I’ve asked myself… and the answer is No.
I still want to use our FB account. But I want to use it wisely.
I don’t want to be caught up in the comparison trap FB originated from.
We have changed the way we use our FB account to include more wisdom…
Wisdom for what we allow ourselves to see and react to.
Wisdom for how much time we spend posting and perusing.
Wisdom for the amount of time we spend scrolling down the screen.
Wisdom for who we give our FB page key to.

Having FB wisdom will look different for every user… 

So. Proceed with caution and use Facebook wisely.

C’mon. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way about Facebook…
What ways are you using FB wisdom?  Share your ideas!

In Him, Leslie 

Dear Mom of {out of control} Children,

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Dear Mom of {out of control) Children,

I see you…
I see your whole life.
I see you are a hot mess.
I see your clenched fists and heavy shoulders.
I see you shrug those heavy shoulders and nearly give up.
I see you holding back salty tears.
I see the dam holding in your pain, cracked, ready to break open.
I see the weariness you walk in.
I see your anger rising.
I see your weaknesses on display…
I see your temper flaring…
I see you losing your patience… again. 
I see your hope diminishing.
Things will never. get. better. 
Regret fills your mind.

I hear you… 
yelling
screaming
gritting your teeth
disciplining thru a tense jaw
I hear your heavy hearted sigh.

Questions loom… 
‘What should I do differently?’
‘How many times should I yell, spank, ground, them, take things away, put them in time out?’
‘Why am I such a terrible mom?’

I hear you crying out…
to Me.

I know you… 
I know you can’t control your {out of control} children.
You can discipline.
You can rebuke.
You can admonish.
You can extend love, care, grace and mercy.
but you can’t control. 


They can be influenced, persuaded, modeled, inspired and prayed for…



but they can not be controlled.


I know your children…
They are 10, 8 and 6 year old little individuals.
They have their own personalities, quirks, ideas and opinions already fully embedded in their small frames and young minds.
We are all born with a rebellious nature. 
Your children can’t be controlled anymore than Cain could before he killed his brother Abel.
Can you imaging the motherly sorrow of Eve?
Before Joseph’s brothers threw him in the well.
Can you imagine Jacob’s grief, as he believed his beloved son was dead?
Before Miriam sent her baby brother Moses down the river in a basket.
Can you imagine the anguish Moses’ mother endured, hiding her son for three months, and then letting him go down the river?

Trust Me…
Trust My plan for your children.
Trust their design is no mistake.
They were never meant to be robots.
They are fully human and born into rebellion.
Their defiance is designed to put your reliance back on Me. 
Trust in Me for your parenting…
Trust in Me for your children…
I designed them the way they are.

Concern yourself only with what I think of you… 
And don’t worry what outsiders think, say or do in response to your {out of control} children.
They don’t know you like I do.
They don’t know you’ve only been walking with Me for a short while.
They don’t know your past.
They don’t know your life situation.
They don’t know your daily circumstances.
They don’t know what it means to ‘walk in your shoes’.
They don’t know how hard you’ve been trying… and now you are tired, worn out, ready to give up…
They don’t know that at the end of the day, you put your hands up, give up… and surrender all your worries, cares and concerns back on Me.

Keep your focus on Me… 
Keep your eyes fixed on Me.
Keep your ears tuned to My voice.
Keep your head high and look up.
Keep your hands out to surrender control.

Trust Me to be your parenting guide.
I will lead you and your children.

Love, Your heavenly Father ~ God