Category: God

coffee thoughts.

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the other day salem announces – “if i had three hands, i could play even more video games!”
this was clue number 341 alerting us salem might – just might – be addicted to video games.
aaaand he’s only 6 years old.
intervention needed immediately.


“mommy, can we watch something?”
“mommy, when can we watch something?”
“mommy, can we pick something to watch?”
“mommy, can we each pick something to watch today?”

“whhhaaaatttt??? stop asking me about watching t.v.!”

later that day, after several rounds of not-so-great behavior and over-reactions… i calmly said angrily yelled – we are not watching t.v. or playing any video games tomorrow!

kids (thinking) – what?!? 
did mom just say what i thought she said? 
yep. she said it. 
mom (simultaneously thinking) – why, why, why, why, why – did i do this to myself???
usually, it’s better for mom to have the t.v. on… the kids are sucked in and not fighting or whining.
but isn’t that the wrong approach?
[and no, i’m not against t.v. or video games, all together]
…

so the kids made it through the next day without playing any video games or having the television on… with two exceptions: a half hour episode of martha speaks in the a.m. and charlie brown in the p.m.
now before you give me a pat on the back and a hefty congratulations for being a mom that sets and keeps firm boundaries, i found out after they came home from school, each of them watched a cartoon in their respective classes. i guess because it was friday, movie day at school? i don’t know…
…
what i do know is this:
salem thinks about video games a lot of the time.
selah thinks about dora and diego.
and soleil thinks about barbie movies… or her new favorite show on netflix – d.c. cupcakes.
…
i don’t know about the rest of you, but i have coffee thoughts most of the time…
and adam does too.
this makes for great fun in our life and chit chat.
i am the one responsible for adams addiction to coffee.
he never knew good coffee until he started drinking with me.
he rarely drank coffee at all until knowing me.
i am so proud.
most of the time, when we are planning when and where to go somewhere, the first part of our planning process is – when and where will we have our coffee?

coffee is an integral part of our everyday life.
we look forward to our coffee everyday.
and this begs the question – does God really care about our $4 mocha?
yes. to a point.
we love coffee, but we don’t think about it more than God and His desires.
* we love coffee * but we can live without it.
…
what do you spend your time thinking of?
our thought patterns begin at a young age.
right now, our kids spend much of their time thinking of t.v., movies and video games…
but we know they can live without these things.
recently, we have had more days with less t.v. and video games swirling in the background.
this has been refreshing and wonderful.
there has been less sibling conflict.
there has been more communication.
and creativity and laughter have flourished.
…
our minds can be filled up all day long with whatever silliness, seriousness, selfishness, shallowness, or  simplicity.
my greatest desire is to fill my mind, my heart and my body with God’s Word and Worship…
after my first cup of coffee, preferably 😉
…
What do you desire to fill up with?

*thank you for reading 🙂 feel free to share and follow our blog! as always… these half written records are to be continued…
In Him, Leslie

counting sheep.

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Easter is coming up here soon. in one week and one day to be exact. 
Easter is one of the two Sunday’s when many people visit churches as ECC’s – “Easter & Christmas Churchgoers”, or so the stats say… 
sooo… many of the churches ’round here -in Picktizzytown– are pulling out all the stops and prepping for a full house, lights-camera-action, hit one outta the park, bangin’ Sunday service! 
including advertising additional service times and easter eggs falling from the sky…sorta like “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” minus the scientist making it happen, but – and of course there is a but – including the news coverage and expecting a large crowd response / uh-hem turnout. 
and we are pulling out the cross. 
and the ‘stations of the cross‘. 
and having a 7a.m. sunrise service. *bonus*.
dang. this chick is sure being critical of the churches in her town…
perhaps it sounds that way, and i will tell you why. 
[they deserve it] 
ha ha. no – for realz…
it’s not that an extra church services or easter egg hunt [with an unprecedented number of eggs] on land are wrong, or a shower of easter eggs falling from the sky is un-biblical… 

you see, eight years ago we began serving in our church as the youth and associate pastor, and me {his awesome wife} as one of the worship leaders.

fast forward a few years and adam became the senior pastor… and shortly afterwards, we became sheep counters. 
we settled into this really bad habit of counting sheep.

not the before you go to bed kind of counting sheep. 
rather, counting the number of sheep in our field -the sheep we were shepherding- the number of sheep in our church kind of sheep. 
and all of sudden we found ourselves competing with the church down the street.
‘i bet such and such church has more people than we do because they have bigger programs and a better parking lot and cooler signs and a hip website and a larger sanctuary and a formal sound system and tastier coffee [well, this one is most likely true] and blah blah blah…’ the list could go on and on.
and… ‘maybe so and so who just left our church now goes to such and such church down the street’. 
ugh. 
you can see this ‘lil bad habit of counting sheep was exhausting the Shepherds… not numerically… but spiritually. 
and we noticed something – this was a sneaky habit – a lie from the enemy, dripping with distraction.
and this was a distraction which focused our hearts more on pleasing man than God.
ugh. and ugly.
many of the regular attenders in our church don’t attend every. single. sunday.
life happens and it’s nearly impossible to have perfect church attendance.
and many of the regular attenders in our church are reading this blog and wondering, ‘is she talkin’ ’bout me?!’ 
please, no worries.
and some, who were regular attenders for a long time, no longer attend. 
again, no worries.
so we counted our sheep, wondering why they did not attend more often, and where did some of them go?
and we would plague ourselves with questions and counting… 
perhaps they grew tired of hearing Adam’s sermons or were irritated with the way I led worship one Sunday, or the songs I chose, or the way I parted my hair that day… or perhaps they were hurt by us, or someone else in our congregation… or perhaps we don’t know why. and this is okay.

does this mean once you visit our church you have to commit to a certain number of years together and sign up to attend all the events, drink the coffee and eat the donuts? no. 
does this mean the people who have left our church are going to hell? hell no!
since our churches birth in the year 2000, many people have entered our creaky glass doors, slobber-stained from our three year olds lips…some have stayed a while, some for a short time and some have walked out those glass doors, never to return again.
…
so if you’re there… we will hopefully notice. and if you’re not there, we will probably notice.
does this make us a horrible pastor / awesome pastors wife combo? no… but it certainly makes us human. 
…
graciously, the Lord turned our hearts affection back to Him alone.
we no longer count our sheep in competition with the church down the street.  
we know who we are called to be as a church and our identity is fully in the Lord Jesus ~ the True Shepherd.
we are counting our sheep because we care for them within our calling to Shepherd them.
…
the grass is not always greener on the other side. 
you have to beg the question ‘where [to which church] are you called?’
you have to listen to the answer with the intent to obey.
it is a continual commitment to consciously commit to Christ. 
and it takes a continual commitment to consciously commit to a church. 
it takes work to get your ass to any church, peeps. and believe you-me, i understand. on the off Sundays when i am not leading worship, i usually stroll in about 10:05am… a little late and a lot irritated with myself for being late. i have no excuse. sure, i have to motivate three small kids to get their rears in gear and get out the door and around the corner for our two-minute commute to church. oh, did i mention we live 1/8 of a mile from our church? and yes, some days we are still late. sad but true.
if you profess to be a follower of Christ, He is calling you to commitment. 
He calls us to commitment to Himself and to His bride ~ the church body. 
our walk with Him is a narrow road, filled with joy and pain, rejection and love, persecution and gain.
it is not so easy, but it is so rewarding.  
…
we want new sheep, not sheep from another field. 
we want committed sheep, not those accustomed to changing fields. 
we want sheep who will know the Shepherds voice. JESUS. 
we want humble sheep who will are willing to be led. 
we want hungry sheep who are called to graze with us.
we desire to see lives changed, new disciples committed to Christ Jesus and His church.
we hope if God has called you to a church, you will commit there and won’t hop around.
we pray you will hear the voice of the Lord and *know* His voice.
we look to see what the Father is already doing and join Him in that work. 
we are hungry for God’s word and want to grow and learn with those who called to our church {field}.
…
there are so many great churches in our town… and there are still so many seats in all of these churches yet to be filled ~ with people yet to hear about Jesus, and know that He loves them and to be committed to a church. 
so, we will not compete. we will commit. 
we will be true to who we are, as a fully human prone-to-mistakes pastor and his fully human {and awesome, also prone-to-mistakes} wife. 
we will pray for and shepherd those people God calls into our church.
we will stay true to who God has called Eastside Vineyard Church to be. 
and we will not have easter eggs falling from the sky. sorry. 
well. not really 😉  
In Him, Leslie 
*please note, this blog is not all-encompassing. nor i am addressing all of the circumstances for every “should i stay or should i go?” from my current church situation. it’s just a piece of our lives in ministry, so far…half written.

hahahahaha

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february was a rough month for us…
wrapped up in our family and life circumstances, stress abounded, fighting resounded and weaved into all of the frustration, i have not stopped coughing like gollum.
…
nothing unusual.
nothing earth shattering.
just life.
tough circumstances visit everyone on this planet. stress makes itself at home in our houses. disappointments knock on our doors. frustrations take root in our backyards. no one is immune.
we all view what makes up stress, frustrations, disappointments and tough circumstances differently.
we see from the lens of the life we live. our perspective.
how we choose to react is what makes us unique.
…
we have chosen to wallow in our self pity. we have allowed it to suck our life away, steal our joy and frustrate our spirits…but not for long!

in the past month of coughing like gollum, i’ve been talking about being sick and how i wish i was feeling better and woa is me and blah blah blah. and it hate talking about sickness. and adam hates listening to me talk about it .
one night i could not stop coughing, adam was laughing at me and suggested i try laughing when i felt a cough coming. and it worked. HA! each time i felt the need to cough, i would yell HA instead. yep. i sounded crazy, but i didn’t cough the rest of that evening. for that one night, i was cough free. if you have a lingering cough, you should try it sometime. my joy returned.

in the past month, selah has been refusing to go into her children’s ministry class. this may sound like no big deal for some…*but for a pastor and his wife leading worship, it can be a big deal to have their three year old sitting contentedly thru a church service for approximately 100 minutes.  
this past sunday, she was unusually feisty, refusing to go into class. she laid in the hallway while every one else, including our children’s director, walked around her. no one was shocked by her antics.
i had to leave her there to begin the service with worship. my stress rose up and my attitude went downhill. adam went to check on selah as we began service almost ten minutes late. during that first song, my heart began to change. i see adam bringing selah into the sanctuary. my frustration with her was gone. she wanted to be with us and in worship. my joy restored.
then during adams sermon, she sat with me, quiet… until she hit a point of boredom. i was ready to take her out of the service… she yells out ‘i’m tired!’ and in the middle of his sermon, adam responds to her, “i’m tired of you crying.” it was hilarious. we all started laughing. she quieted down a few minutes later and fell asleep beside me for the rest of the service. whew.

our kids argue and fight, which i know might be hard for you to believe. yes. they do. they are not ‘perfect pastors kids’. those don’t even exist, btw. and when they do, my emotions can snowball into getting upset right along with them. but those times when i am full of joy, i respond differently. i start laughing, which immediately makes the tension lighter. they look at me for my response… “just take it outside, go ahead, beat each other up.” then they look at me like i’m crazy because they know i’m not being serious. suddenly, whatever was frustrating them melts away.  sometimes, we make them hug it out as their punishment. and other times, if i sense attitudes rising, i just smile and say “you betta check yo’ self!” that’s always a good one 😉 oh and we adults are not exempt. a pastor and his wife can argue too. we get so upset with each other over the silliest things. thankfully, we insist on always communicating and won’t stay mad at one another for long. laughter breaks up the arguments. joy replaces the anger.

these are just a few life circumstances we try and eventually laugh about. they seem trivial after we ‘check ourselves’. they aren’t life or death situations or anything… but we have experienced deep pain and chosen joy. we have lost our jobs, struggled thru deep disappointments, felt wounding rejection in relationships, experienced the loss of a child thru miscarriage, and just a few weeks ago, we said our earthly goodbyes to my grandpa.

we chose joy when we almost lost salem at three months old. that night he was sleeping in his crib and adam felt the Holy Spirit prompt him to check on our little ‘bubs’. he was barely breathing and turning blue. we called the squad and the next thing i know, we were in the back of an ambulance being rushed to children’s hospital. he had every medical test known to man done to him. he was poked, prodded and prayed for. at the hospital we called our families and church for prayer support. after we knew salem was out of immediate danger and stabilized, i reverted to making jokes. it was my coping mechanism. we were under such stress. we were in the hospital for five long days and celebrated our christmas that year in salem’s hospital room. upon his release from the hospital, he was perfectly healthy. the doctors had speculation, but after all the test results were in, there was never a finite answer for the cause of his almost death experience. he was released from the hospital: cause unknown. 




we know prayer can change anything. we trust that God is in control of all circumstances. we chose joy in that stressful time of our lives. upon returning home, we watched salem every night for several months, worried it might happen again. we are so grateful that now he is a healthy amazing six year old boy!
…
this might all sound like silliness and simplicity. but we choose to laugh in the face of stress and frustrations. smile in the face of our disappointments. and choose joy in the midst of our all circumstances.
hahahahaha!
we will put our hope in Christ and choose joy!
…
the apostle paul is one of my heros when it comes to having joy in all circumstances. he was shipwrecked, hungry, tired, imprisoned, and lived with a thorn in his flesh. he suffered adverse circumstances and severe persecution, and he maintained joy at all times ~ all for Christ.
paul talked about his suffering. he never pretended it didn’t exist. i don’t know why – in the american church – we ever started doing that! keeping silent or pretending about what your circumstances are is the worst way to handle things. it will isolate you from the community Christ has called us all to. and the enemy can more easily discourage and defeat those who isolate themselves. God Himself was three-in-one {Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit}.
paul remained in community whenever he could. he was authentic with what was going on in his life. he was honest about his aches and pains. but he didn’t dwell on them. he didn’t stay in the pit of despair. he relied on the community he was called to serve for their support. he gave thanks in all circumstances and encouraged them to do the same.
one of my favorite books in the Bible about maintaining joy in all circumstances is Philippians, especially chapter 4.
…
if you are discouraged or despair in your circumstances, reach out to Jesus, to others, find a healthy church community and read Philippians.
then take time to laugh loudly {LOL!} in the face of your distress and give thanks in all circumstances.
hahahahaha!!!

the oscars

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a few days ago, our nation was obsessed with one thing…
the oscars. 

Oscar_statuette.jpg

who was there? who did they have hanging on their arm? what were they wearing? were their boobs showing too much? was their dress too ridiculous… or fashionable enough? i mean, a tux is just another tux. not super exciting to look at, right? was the host funny enough? did the winners give good acceptance speeches? or did they screw up? 
millions of viewers were on the edge of their couches, chairs and love seats watching. waiting. wondering who would win… an oscar. or they were watching downton abbey.
at least this seemed the case according to many of our facebook friends.

i’m pretty sure my facebook newsfeed accurately reflects what’s *hip and *happening in society…
at least, i hope so.

i don’t know about the rest of you, but i certainly logged onto facebook november 7th, 2012 to find out which wonderful person would hold the wonderful office of white house president.
yup. i found out who would be runnin’ this nation as president for the next four years thru facebook.
isn’t that sad? doesn’t that say a lot about me?
it saaaaays – i have no patience to stay awake watching the polls and drama of the newscasters – instead i will just ‘find out on facebook tomorrow’.

instead of the oscars on sunday night, or downton abbey [tho we are big fans of pbs, we’ve never seen this show] we rejected the notion of ‘fitting in’ and opted to watch an obsession of our own ~ the amazing race.

The_Amazing_Race_18_logo.jpg

while many people dream of walking on the red carpet, dressed in fine gowns and sharp tuxedos, linked arm and arm with {who society deems as} ‘beautiful people’, we dream of running all over the world in a race for 1 million dollars. or rather, 1 million lives. sure. we would love to win a million dollars, but even more we would love to run around the world {Matthew 28:18-20} impacting millions of lives for one purpose. Love.

a love that changes people. a selfless love which is patient, kind, always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres, a love which does not boast, endures all things and never fails. a love likened to a consuming fire which can not be quenched.
and this love is unlike any other love, this love is a person. His name is Jesus.

like the amazing race ~ our life in the ministry is an adventure ~ based around people we love and serve in our church and community. people in relationship who experience both struggles and joy. people who face challenges, detours and roadblocks. there are pit stops and twelve hour rest periods along the way… but this journey never ends. rather than winning a million dollars, there is an eternal focus ~ eyes fixed on knowing and following hard after Jesus. a desire to see His Kingdom come. His will be done. throughout the nations.  one day, all the nations will bow before Him… until then, it is all about pursuing Jesus… and along the journey some will choose to take a step back, or even walk away.

although we would love to one day go on the amazing race, we already live an adventure in ministry that is incomparable. we serve the King of Kings, the most glorious royalty, the most famous man ever known. Jesus. 
He never walked the red carpet… instead He rode on an ass over broken branches and worn out clothes down a dusty road.
He never slipped on a tuxedo or donned shoes that cost more than my house… instead He wore a simple tunic and walked this earth in worn out sandals.
He never had a team of stylists and fashion assistants… instead He humbly served and washed His disciples feet.
He was never accepted by mainstream society… instead He was rejected, betrayed and denied.
He never gave an acceptance speech for winning ‘best actor’… instead He taught in parables about the coming Kingdom and spoke the Truth in love.
He never received any academy awards… instead He received a scarlet robe, a twisted crown of thorns, and a severe beating from a mocking mob.
He was never quoted in the newspapers in defense of what ‘should have been’ or what ‘he should have won’… instead He loved His enemies and accepted His call unto death on a cross.

so, i really don’t give a shit who won which oscar. 
we may not ever have the chance to go on the amazing race and win a million dollars… what we do have is the amazing ‘life in ministry’ adventure God has called us to. the awesome journey we walk, run and sometimes fall on. we have served in churches across the united states. we have served in missions across the nations. we have humbly been a part of many lives and a part of making disciples for His glory. for over eight years our adventure has continued in central ohio… and what an amazing race it has been. we are so grateful! we hope you will follow this blog and join us for all our future ministry adventures. to be continued…

after all, the record is only half written… In Him, Leslie 

kick the box.

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on Sunday we went to church…
I worshipped, experienced God’s presence, taught in children’s ministry, and had some fellowship.
then we left church, drove our one-minute commute around the corner, came back home…
aaaaaaand then… i had a meltdown.
…
the kids were whining.
the dog was annoying.
cold symptoms were lingering.
my patience was thinning.
…
I’m hungry!
I lost my Lego!
I can’t carry everything!
I wanna watch a movie!
I wanna play Mario!
I wanna let the dog back inside!
bitch – moan – gripe – complain – blah – blah – blah.
yes, even the Pastors kids act up. shocker.
fighting, arguing, dogs’ water splashing, mom. spiraling. losing. control…
I can’t take it anymore!!!
…
*blink blink* uh oh. mom’s pissed. silence fills the room.
the kids were quiet.
i went downstairs.
and kicked the crap out of an empty box in the garage.
…
now before you freak out and think ‘she has iiii-ssues’, i will be the first to admit – i do. 
i have anger issues. i lose my temper. i over-react.
and you can read about previous temper tantrums here, here and here.
and you will read about more tantrums that are sure to fill my future, if you continue following my awesome blog. *yes, this a plug* you should follow my blog.

and i digress… nothing new.
but this is not about ‘how can i keep from becoming angry and losing it’?
the real question is…what triggered my outburst?
routine. boredom. comfort.
same old-same old. day in-day out. nothing changing. nothing new happening.
i am called to something more… something different… something new…
…
there is a line of thought which celebrates – ‘hooray for routine’! 
routine is best for kids. you need to set up a schedule.
get more organized. develop a chore chart.
your life needs more balance.
ugh. i hate, loath, detest the word balance. i have been known to use that word on several occasions and when i catch myself saying it, i have to stop and re-phrase.
life is not about balance.
a balanced life suggests everything is in sync, in order, just right, perfect.
guess what? perfection doesn’t exist. 
routine is defined as a detailed course of action to be followed regularly; a standard procedure. a set of mechanically performed procedures or activities.
well guess what? i am not a robot.
routine is o.k. for my workout plan, but not for my life.
screw routine.
…
and this past Sunday, after my lil’ meltdown – after i kicked the crap out of the box in the garage – i came upstairs and laid on my bed for a few moments. gathered my thoughts and became a better mom. i talked with the kids. talked with Adam when he got home from church. and have since then changed things up. 

God gently showed me ~ in His great kindness and mercy ~ these routines have taken root in my day to day and become bad habits. for me. for the kids. for our family life.
***
God is creative! He is always moving, working, growing, renewing, restoring, changing, on and on and on and on and on… for our good.
I want to live life in His image ~ as a new creation! Second Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”
Life with Christ is an adventure. 
it is never boring. never comfortable. never routine.

on a recent car commercial i heard this quote. i tweaked it (adding the ‘on the dreams of’ part) and love it.
Inspiration dances on the dreams of the daring. 
***
my suggestion? dream with God. be daring. take risks. get worked up. screw routine. make a change. and if you need an extra wake – up, maybe you need to kick the box.