kick the box.

on Sunday we went to church…
I worshipped, experienced God’s presence, taught in children’s ministry, and had some fellowship.
then we left church, drove our one-minute commute around the corner, came back home…
aaaaaaand then… i had a meltdown.

the kids were whining.
the dog was annoying.
cold symptoms were lingering.
my patience was thinning.

I’m hungry!
I lost my Lego!
I can’t carry everything!
I wanna watch a movie!
I wanna play Mario!
I wanna let the dog back inside!
bitch – moan – gripe – complain – blah – blah – blah.
yes, even the Pastors kids act up. shocker.
fighting, arguing, dogs’ water splashing, mom. spiraling. losing. control…
I can’t take it anymore!!!

*blink blink* uh oh. mom’s pissed. silence fills the room.
the kids were quiet.
i went downstairs.
and kicked the crap out of an empty box in the garage.

now before you freak out and think ‘she has iiii-ssues’, i will be the first to admit – i do. 
i have anger issues. i lose my temper. i over-react.
and you can read about previous temper tantrums here, here and here.
and you will read about more tantrums that are sure to fill my future, if you continue following my awesome blog. *yes, this a plug* you should follow my blog.

and i digress… nothing new.
but this is not about ‘how can i keep from becoming angry and losing it’?
the real question is…what triggered my outburst?
routine. boredom. comfort.
same old-same old. day in-day out. nothing changing. nothing new happening.
i am called to something more… something different… something new…

there is a line of thought which celebrates – ‘hooray for routine’! 
routine is best for kids. you need to set up a schedule.
get more organized. develop a chore chart.
your life needs more balance.
ugh. i hate, loath, detest the word balance. i have been known to use that word on several occasions and when i catch myself saying it, i have to stop and re-phrase.
life is not about balance.
a balanced life suggests everything is in sync, in order, just right, perfect.
guess what? perfection doesn’t exist. 
routine is defined as a detailed course of action to be followed regularly; a standard procedure. a set of mechanically performed procedures or activities.
well guess what? i am not a robot.
routine is o.k. for my workout plan, but not for my life.
screw routine.

and this past Sunday, after my lil’ meltdown – after i kicked the crap out of the box in the garage – i came upstairs and laid on my bed for a few moments. gathered my thoughts and became a better mom. i talked with the kids. talked with Adam when he got home from church. and have since then changed things up. 

God gently showed me ~ in His great kindness and mercy ~ these routines have taken root in my day to day and become bad habits. for me. for the kids. for our family life.
***
God is creative! He is always moving, working, growing, renewing, restoring, changing, on and on and on and on and on… for our good.
I want to live life in His image ~ as a new creation! Second Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”
Life with Christ is an adventure. 
it is never boring. never comfortable. never routine.

on a recent car commercial i heard this quote. i tweaked it (adding the ‘on the dreams of’ part) and love it.
Inspiration dances on the dreams of the daring. 
***
my suggestion? dream with God. be daring. take risks. get worked up. screw routine. make a change. and if you need an extra wake – up, maybe you need to kick the box.

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