Category: family

Dear Soleil~

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Dear Soleil ~ at this time in your life, most of the world sees you as painfully shy and maybe… maybe even some might see you as weak.  and you are shy, around most people. but, your family ~ we know you are extremely discerning and strong.  it is not easy to live like you do, in between two worlds.  and you are learning.  learning about not being of the world while living on the earth.  it can be painful.  it’s not easy to stand up for what you believe in. even when you are standing in silence.  it’s not easy to let go of expectations that are high and then quickly disappointed.
then, there are some days we worry.  we worry that you might be too much of a follower.  that you are too quiet when you should be more vocal.  that you would rather stay behind the scenes instead of taking your place on the stage to shine.  and even though there might be moments, or even seasons when you do follow… we remember.  we know whose you are.  we trust Jesus to hold you, protect you, strengthen you and carry you.  we know that you are following Him.

and as you grow, it will not become easier.  

sure, there is a part of me that wishes i could tell you it will get easier.  that life will be fair and balanced… and organized.  and clean and tidy.  and all your ducks will be in a row.  and all of your dreams will come true.  and life will become a fairy tale if you believe in yourself.  well… you know i never tell you that.  but isn’t that what all the movies for little girls say?  “just believe in yourself.  just believe.” we’ve watched so many of these movies, some of them hundreds of times.  but you know.  you already know!  life is not a fairy tale.  wishes upon the stars are not true.  penny’s will not bring you luck.  and there is no fairy god mother who comes to your side every time you shed a tear, ready to sparkle you from head to toe and send you to the ball.
you know.
you know you have a daddy, a mommy, a brother and a sister who come to your side and comfort you every time you shed a tear.  who squeeze you with big hugs, smother you with kisses and make you laugh when you are upset.  you know you have a God who is greater than any fairy tale story could ever peg. and He is by your side every moment of everyday.

you know.  
there is a specific code, time of day and special key that will unlock your heart and soul.  and it helps if there is a full moon and if the stars are aligned… not really, but…  😉  once you open up, the wisdom you share, the beauty that you speak, the love that you give is amazing.  it fills us up!  and for those… those very few, who are blessed to be close to you, it fills them up too.  

we don’t want you to conform to this world. and you don’t.  you are living between two worlds ~ beautifully.  with conviction and grace. you see beyond the surface.  already, you know such depth of the Lord.  and you are only seven.  

you bless us Soleil.  we are amazed by who you are.  thank you for being you.  there are no words descriptive enough to say how much we love you.  so we just say it.  over and over and over again.  until you get tired of hearing it.  we love you.
~your fam 🙂

Noted. By Les Babs

the truth is…

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i didn’t know what a blog was until this past summer.  in fact, i didn’t even know they existed.  and now i’m all about blogs.  bloggin’.  lovin’ the blog life.  blah, blah, blah. blog, blog, blog.
it can be hard to write blogs, but i am lovin’ it.  the truth is… i was planning to write a blog with P.A. (in honor of v-day) about having a marvelous marriage; in all areas-friendship, communication, trust, selflessness, respect, intimacy, sex, etc… but i changed my mind.  as usual.  but look for it soon. 
so the truth is… 
i have coffee breath 90% of the time, and if i don’t… i will check to see if I have a fever, because there is probably something wrong with me.  i don’t typically chew gum or suck on mints, so if you talk to me, most likely you will also be talking to my coffee breath.  hope that won’t affect our relationship.
i carry a cup of coffee with me 90% of the places that i go, and if i don’t… it’s because i am on my way to buy a coffee… OR, i might have a fever, because there is something wrong with me.  if it’s the latter, i will probably not go anywhere and just stay at home, where i have access to a coffee maker as soon as i’m feeling better.
i LOVE driving fast.  contrary to what we are taught in drivers ed, i like to drive aggressively, not defensively.  we live in central ohio where most of my life consists of driving up and down a 2 lane road, that turns into a 4 lane road with tons of traffic lights along the way.  the truth is… it takes me longer to get out of town than it does to drive down the highway into downtown.  i love the challenge of getting from my house to the highway as fast as i can, speeding up to coast thru the yellow lights, and weaving in and out of the slower drivers around me.  which are basically all the other drivers. 
i miss driving in new york city.  for the 3+ years we lived there, we were those crazy people who wanted to live like suburbanites in the city; and also keep our car and deal with all of the parking tickets, lack of parking places, and all of the stress that comes with driving in nyc.  i loved the challenge of finding and fighting for parking places, cutting people off and weaving in and out of lanes.  never too fast in the city though, because you can’t drive much over 20 mph due to traffic.  
our house is medium sized (about 1,800 square feet), but i wish it were a little bit smaller. our fam of five loves being together.  with the exception of school and work, we spend most of our time in the same room.  or within a few hundred feet of each other.  i rarely go to the bathroom without the pitter patter of little feet nearby.  and i really don’t mind. wasted space makes me cringe.  
if you come over to visit and my house IS clean, it’s most likely because i transferred the piles of papers and moved the dirt from one part of the house to another.  out of sight, out of mind, ya know?
i wish my fam didn’t have to work or go to school.  i love and long for the days when the wee babs are out of school and P.A. is not working.  i wish we could just be together all the time.  the truth is... i would love that!
i think way.  too.  much.  about.  clothes.  and shoes.  and wish i didn’t.  it takes up to much brain space in my head.
i waver between insecurity and confidence.  shocking.  i know you probably thought i had it all together.  just keep reading my blogs, you’ll see the ‘real me’ 😉
i trust GOD, but i also worry about all of the things i can’t control.  which is a lot of things.
and this is the truth about me.  what are some truths about you? 
with love, happy valentines day.

Marriage as Mates

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HAD2BU

My Grandparents recently celebrated their 65th wedding Anniversary this past December…

That’s 780 months of marriage… Or 23,725 days!!! Wow-zers!!!

And the thing is – they really love each other.  Still… 65 years later.   They Love.

They chose each other.

They didn’t just stick it out for the “sake of the kids”… their 4 children are fully grown with their own kids (like ME!) and grandkids (like the wee Babs).  It’s safe to say that they have been empty-nesters for a while now.  They didn’t just stay married for the hell of it, or because marriage is the “cool” thing to do.  Or because it was easy and like a sunshine fairytale everyday the past 23,725 days…
Nope.  They chose humility, selflessness, teach-ability, willingness, trust, respect, hard work, dedication, commitment and they chose to grow… together.
They met when they were 5 years old, my Grandpa would ride his horse thru wind, snow and rain to visit his one true love, they married at age 19 and now they drive a Lexus with a license plate that says “HAD2BU”. They began their journey as best friends… and still are.
One of the foundations of a Marriage must be Friendship.  Marriage as Mates.
I am so grateful that P.A. is my B.F.F., my Bestie, my Mate!  We kicked it off that way.  We met working together at a Christian bookstore ~ Mardel.  The first time I saw P.A. I laughed at him.  I made fun of his outfit (because he was totally overdressed for his interview) and teased him about his cologne (because it was waaaayyyy too strong).  He was cool with all of this.  We loved laughing together, and could laugh at ourselves – *bonus*!  We loved hanging out together and talking for hours, and on our lunch breaks, after work, on the phone, any chance we could get.  And it hasn’t changed… much.   Now we have to usually talk over the needs of the wee Babs, or save all of our conversation up until the evening time.  But we talk.  We go crazy if we haven’t talked enough.  A friendship breeds on conversation.  True, deep, authentic conversation.  We love being mates who talk.
And we laugh.  Still we laugh at each other and at ourselves.  We laugh thru the difficult times of pain, hurt, sorrows and screaming wee Babs. We laugh at life when it is hilarious and those times when it’s not so hilarious.  We love being mates who laugh.
P.A. and I are blessed to have (almost) 15 years of marriage under our belts.  Our hobbies and interests (not Pinterests) are also similar.  Since we met, we have truly enjoyed each others company.  We have traveled throughout the US, Europe, and India.  We dream of traveling more.  We love dreaming together.  We love being together.  We both enjoy being outdoors, staying active, keeping fit, eating healthy, reading, drinking coffee, watching the same goofy PBS documentaries, cooking shows, and movies.  And most of all, at the center of our friendship, is our friendship with Jesus.  He’s the foundation of our friendship foundation.
Here we are in 1996 – back in the diz-ay – when our friendship first began.
Is everyday is a sunshine fairytale?  Do we agree on everything?  Do we laugh every second of the day?  No.  But sometimes we do think, this is too good to be true.  Because it is.  There is nothing better than being married to my mate.  Even when it is difficult.  There are so many people, places and things that can divide a marriage.  I believe if a marriage begins with two mates, there is a stronger foundation at the core of that marriage.  Like my Grandparents, my parents and P.A.’s parents, we have chosen humility, selflessness, teach-ability, willingness, trust, respect, hard work, dedication and commitment.


We have chosen to grow… together.

and Blog… together.
I am grateful that on in August of 2012 we will celebrate 15 years of marriage.  And I am hopeful that in August of 2062, we will celebrate 65 years!
I love being married to my mate.
Are you Mates in your Marriage?  I hope and pray so.
Noted. By Les Babs (Part 1 of 4 Marriage/Relationship Records)

Yesterday, I lost my mind

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Yesterday was one of those days… You know the ones.  Where your 2-year-old wakes you up at waaaaaay too early o’clock in the morning, screaming, “Ake up Mommy,  AKE UP!” while pulling on your covers. One of my biggest pet peeves is when anyone pulls my covers off of me.  That’s my job.  I don’t need any help with my covers.  Before I could even say, “it’s too early, go back to your bed”, I had a headache to kick off the day.

I was emotionally, mentally and physically drained before I even got out of bed.

I had hit my boiling point.  Frustrations had piled up and were weighing heavily on my shoulders.  My 2-year-old screaming was the thing that sent me over the edge.  You know those things.  The piled up frustrations/worries/fears/anxieties that you hold in/push down/shove under the rug… until something small morphs into something big.  Something simple, that you could normally handle as “no problem”, becomes the biggest deal on the face of the planet…and you lose your mind.
As custom with my emotional roller coaster days, the rest of the day followed suite.  I took out my frustrations on the wee Babs, P.A., the dishes, the dirty laundry, the dinner…. and myself.
I lost my mind.

I ran out of Grace.

Eventually, I put myself to bed.  at 8pm.

But before I gave myself a time out – the dishes, dirty laundry, dinner, P.A. and the wee Bab’s were the brunt of my lack of grace.
I had ZERO patience for P.A. and the wee Babs.  I cleaned the dishes with contempt.  I threw the dirty laundry around.  I wrestled with dinner until… I won.
All of this while I was feeling guilty, and growing more and more angry with myself.
I didn’t really win anything.  I hated the way I was treating my fam, the chores, and the feelings I had toward myself.  But I couldn’t stop the emotional roller coaster of ugly events.
I had lost all sense of reasonableness… and run out of Grace.  
After reflecting, forgiving myself, and asking forgiveness from my family, I could see I needed a break for myself.  Not just a “I need to get away from my kids/out of the house for a few hours” break, but Grace.  I needed Grace… for myself.  2 Corinthians 12:9.

Grace is a Gift from God.

There is no way to manufacture it, conjure it up, or create it within ourselves.  It can only be received from God.  If we don’t accept His Grace for ourselves, we can’t extend it to others.  Only the Grace He gives can overflow from our own hearts, and then be extended to others.

God’s Grace is His patience with us. His forgiveness toward us. His unending love for us.

I am thankful for God’s Gift of Grace, and for those moments when He reminds me how much I need His Grace.  For Myself.  And for others… including my dishes, dirty laundry and dinner.  Amen.
How are you experiencing God’s Grace in your own life?

Noted. By Les Babs

Perspective

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Perspective – a particular evaluation of a situation or facts, especially from one person’s point of view.

Perspective is the lens thru which we view the world.  It’s how we view what happens to us.  It’s how we view other people and what happens to them.
My prayer is that I will have a Kingdom Perspective for my life and for the lives of others.  My hope is that my perspective will be challenged and motivated by Jesus.  His Kingdom come.  His will be done.  On earth as in Heaven.

It’s something as simple as a shirt.  Salem has a shirt that says, “World’s Best Brother”.  And he is.  It’s my favorite shirt of his.  Recently, we painted the girls bedroom.  I told P.A. “make sure Salem doesn’t paint in my favorite shirt.”  And guess what?  P.A. didn’t change Salem’s shirt before they painted, and he got paint on it.  Aaaaarrrrrrrgh!!!
I was upset.  seriously.  for a few hours, I was ridiculous.  My perspective.

My Kingdom Perspective– I am reminded of those who only have dirty or torn shirts to wear.  Or those who don’t have any shirt at all.  Salem still wears his red “World’s Best Brother” shirt with pride and the green paint on it.  Who cares?!?  He surely doesn’t.  And I don’t either… anymore.
It’s something like those days when momma is sick, helpless and can’t take care of herself or her wee Babs.  This sucks.  I hate my life.  My perspective.

My Kingdom Perspective– I will be well again.  I am blessed to have P.A. and friends who surround me, call, text and check on me.  Offer to go to the store for me.  Help to  take care of me and the wee Babs.  I can lean on the Lord in my weakness and He will give me strength. Matthew 11:28-30.
It’s something like road separation.  Living 1,000 miles my family in Oklahoma & 2,500 miles away from P.A.’s family in Oregon.  This really sucks.  Something huge is missing.  We see our families once or twice a year.  The wee Babs are not growing up around their Grands.  This is wrong.  This can get me really. down. in. the. dumps.  My perspective.
My Kingdom Perspective- We are not alone.  We are financially and physically able to see our families once or twice a year, with Skype internet chats additionally sprinkled on top.  I am overwhelmed by the church family that God has surrounded us with.  He has placed us here for this time, and for His purpose.  Jeremiah 29:11.  God can do great things thru us when we are surrendered to His call on our lives.  No matter where that takes us.  His Kingdom Come. His will be done.
It’s something like almost dying.  When Salem was 3 mos old, he almost died.  He turned blue.  He was barely breathing.  Sometimes I forget this.  I take our little man for granted.  I have never been so scared in my life.  My perspective.
My Kingdom Perspective– P.A. had a “nudge” to check on Salem that night.  If he hadn’t… well, we don’t know.  We trust the Lord.  Our wee Babs are gifts from God.  Our response is to surrender and parent them back to Jesus.  No moments for granted.  God rescued Salem.  He is now a 5-year-old prayer warrior.  If anyone is sick, his response is To Pray.
It’s something like a “Soul Surfer”.  We watched this movie last night.  A lost arm.  A lost dream.  Or the losses we’ve experienced [insert list here… I will, in time…] Any loss can cause hopelessness.  Anger. Despair.  My perspective.
My Kingdom Perspective– Loss can cause Gain.  The “Soul Surfer” realized her purpose of “embracing more people with one arm, than she ever did with two.”  She was able to bring her love of the water and share it with the people of Thailand; removing fear, bringing life back into water, after the water had brought so much death.  Reflecting on loss, I am reminded of what I have.  The breath I take.  The gift of today. The people I can love.  The sight of God movements and Everyday miracles.
What is your perspective?

Noted. By Les Babs