Tag: God

i don’t wanna be a mom anymore…

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at times, it hits me…

i don’t wanna be a mom anymore.

i’m weary, discouraged and tired of the stress that envelopes the calling of parenting.

hmmm, this might be kinda hard news to break to my 3 kids and husband…

 

so, i’m stuck with being mom. 

 

do i really have a choice, anyway?

 

well, yes.

one day i can decide i don’t wanna be a mom anymore and walk out, leaving my kids and husband, to live MY life, right?

yes.

or… i can decide i am going to choose joy in being a mom and keep choosing joy in the midst of the stress, discouragement and disappointment.

YES!

today i am writing this from a place of healing and the reality of how i feel at times.

there are days, sometimes weeks and months when the stress of parenting, along with other stress in life becomes overwhelming.

even menial tasks seem like a mountain to be conquered…

making their meals, doing the dishes, doing the laundry, brushing their teeth, giving them baths and caring for my kids proves difficult.

i begin to think it would be easier to just lay in bed all day…

i long for their 8pm bedtime, and it’s only 5:30pm…

sure, there are those days…

if i am honest, those times suck.. but thankfully they don’t last forever.

thankfully, i can honestly say i am grateful to be a mom and my kids bring me great joy!

 

we are a creation living within a world of choice.

we have a choice what to think about with our minds.

we have a choice what to do with our bodies.

we have a choice how to feel with our hearts.

we have a choice how to believe with our souls.

everyday we have choice, and everyday our kids have a choice.

we can guide our children to make good choices.

we can give consequences for their not so great choices.

we can guide, but can’t control every single one of our kids actions and reactions, anymore than God can control our actions and reactions.

we can choose to nurture our children and teach them in the ways of the Lord.

 

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord… Fathers {and mothers}, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

{Ephesians 6:1-4}

i have complained to the Lord of my anger and shared with Him my woes.

i have cried for relief from the hurt and pain that children can cause their parents. 

i have repented for the hurt i can cause my children.

i have sought the Lord for His wisdom on every aspect of parenting.

i have been honest with the Lord from the depths of my soul. 

 

God can handle our wide range of emotions and the depths of our transparency.

honesty with God brings healing and refuels our hope.  

 

although it is not always easy, i choose…

joy in the midst of parenting stress and life mess.

to remain grounded in God’s Word, hearing His truth for my life and for the lives of our 3 children.

to mourn disappointment and discouragement and loss.

to let go of my anger and frustrations.

to let go of bitterness and resentment.

to be thankful in all circumstances.

to pray over our children and love the heck out of them, even in the face of their disobedience.

for my patience to outweigh their impatience.

thankfully, God patiently loves the heck out of me in my disobedience!

and let’s face it – as parents – we don’t know what the heck we are doing most of the time anyway.

 

i choose God. 

i choose Worship and Praise.

i choose surrender.

i choose His ways not my ways. 

i choose to trust when i don’t understand…

and i choose to never. give. up. hope.


maybe you have felt this way? whether the situation be about your children, your job, your relationships, or anything else, what do you choose? please feel free to share! 


In Him, Leslie 

 

36 minutes

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What can you do with 36 minutes?

Watch a t.v. show… run an errand… eat at meal… have sex… (but please, only if you’re married.)

There are a countless number of things you can do with 36 minutes.  We are given 1,440 minutes in a day.  With this time, there are things we need to do.  We need to work.  We need to accomplish tasks.  We need to eat.  We need to sleep.  (Ecclesiastes 3).

This time is a gift.  Through freedom in Christ, we are not be bound by time, but we are called and challenged to use it wisely.

Can you change your life in 36 minutes?   Yes.  I believe you can.

In 36 minutes, I can waste a lot of time.  I can walk around my house in circles, deciding what I need to be doing, and end up doing nothing.  I can stress out about the nothing that I did when I should have been doing something.  I can look at the pile of clothes that needs to be put away and see the dishes stacking up and stare at the mop that is rarely used.  I can zone out for 36 minutes and then snap out of it thinking, “Where has all my time gone?

Or… I can change my life.

I want to wisely use ALL of the 1,440 minutes given to me today!

In 36 minutes, I can run 3 miles.  6 days a week, most weeks, I run – or walk fast on days I don’t feel like running 3 miles.  Now, it’s not like I wake up every morning thinking “Yea!  I get to spend 36 minutes with my treadmill today!”.  Though the days when the weather is nice and I have the time to run outside, I do say “Yea, I ♥ Running!”  And it takes me less than 36 minutes to run 3 miles outside.  “Yea, more minutes in my day!”  Still most days, I’m with my treadmill.  And it takes discipline.  I know if I invest 36 minutes a day exercising, I will feel better, and ultimately focus less on myself and more on others because I feel good about my health.

But my 36 minutes isn’t only an investment for the outside.  

I can invest my 36 minutes on my soul.  I can pray while I am running.  It’s genius, really.  Multi-tasking.  God has given us the gift of a relationship with Him.  I can spend time talking with Him in prayer while I am running.  Sure, I will probably be a little more winded and out of breath if I’m talking/praying while running – but He understands.  He knows my heart.  Better than I do.  (Ezekiel 36:26).

And my 36 minutes is not all about me.  

In 36 minutes, I can spend time with those I love and those I am called to love.  I can spend quality time with P.A. and our wee Babs.  I can love the person in front of me, as Christ would do. I can spend my 36 minutes focused on someone else’s life.  This is a life-changing investment.

In 36 minutes, I can read the Bible.  This is daily discipline.  It is not always easy.  Spending time with God and learning and studying and meditating on His Word is a life-changing investment.  36 minutes in the Bible will always CHANGE MY LIFE.

Time is a God-given gift.  Every 36 minutes we have is a gift.  

How will you invest 36 minutes today?