Happy Mothers Day – this is what my kids think of me…

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Happy (now belated) Mothers Day – this is what my kids think of me.

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I’m always late. I’m even posting this blog later than planned – the day after Mothers Day – when no. one. cares. about their Mothers or Mothers Day blogs anymore.

I’m always fussing about their earwax and toenails. Ewww… Well, it’s what we moms do. Dirty ears and jagged toenails are a pet peeve of mine.

I’m always smelling the butt of their jeans. Are they wearable for another day? Oh, is this TMI? Sorry, you don’t have to read any further.

I’m always asking them to keep their rooms clean, when mine looks like the laundry piles went to war with my shoes and paperwork. :-/

I’m always eating their random leftovers… the tiny pieces of whatever we ate for dinner… I can’t stand to throw away even a bite of food.

I always cringe when I hear the sound of them opening the “craft cabinet”. Oh. You want to make mommy another glittery gooey scribbling? …and you want to paint me 10,000 pictures of robots? …and you want to pull out all the beads to create another necklace to give to all your preschool friends? That is so precious. I’m not proud of this – but I’m anticipating the mess which will inevitably be strewn all over the kitchen table at precisely dinner time. I know, I know, I should relax.

I’m always grumpy when my girls ask to paint their nails… The mess. The smell. The impatience of my 4 year old whining, waiting for her nails to dry. I know, I know, I need to relax and let ’em do whatever they want.

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Sigh… I know, I’m not that bad of a mom.

When I rammed my knee into the bedroom doorframe, a few unmentionable words slipped out thru gritted teeth. I could feel the anger rising up within me. Selah witnessed the whole debacle. “Mommy, are you okay?… I feel bad about you.” At the sound of her sweet words, I began to calm down and then felt Soleil slip her arms around my waist. Tears welled up in my eyes. “Sorry I’m a bad example sometimes.” Soleil replied, “It’s okay mommy – we just ignore the things you don’t do well.”

Best. Answer. Ever. I love my honest children. They are a truly gift from God. 

What do children honestly think of their mothers, anyway?
 I interviewed my kids, along with the projects they made for me school. The combined answers they came up with touched my heart and made me laugh. I realized I’m a pretty predictable person and my kids know me so well.

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I will now share with you what my kids truly think of me. I know – you can’t wait to read the rest of this story! These are their combined answers 🙂 …

Selah thinks I’m 15 years old. Thank you very much. Salem asked, “Mommy, how old are you in real life”? Soleil without skipping a beat answers, “She’s 35!” Well guys, I hate to break it to ya, I’m actually 37. . . “You are?!” [Gasp]

Mommy likes to take pictures on her phone… Mommy likes to Worship. Yes. and Yes!

The best thing mom cooks is… Everything. and Brownies. Yep, I’m a good cook. But I suck at making chocolate chip cookies, so the brownies suffice.

Her favorite food is…  probably brownies. Biscuits. Indian food. Yep, these are all true. I love food.

Her favorite store is… the girls unanimously answered – Trader Joe’s. Salem said 5 Bean. Truth from the mouths of babes.

She is really good at… Singing. Cooking. Cuddling. Awe… yep, I’m pretty good at all those things 🙂

If I could give mommy a gift… I would give you a 5 Bean gift card. Holla!!!

Mommy is… funny. She likes when I tell her jokes. She is always entertaining us with song and dance. Yes, this is true. I think I’m the funniest person on earth and I’m constantly cracking myself up.

My favorite thing to do with Mommy is… Go to the park. Swing together. Go bike riding. Cuddle. Yes Yes and Yes!

I love Mommy because… she gives me smooth kisses. I’m not sure what Selah meant by ‘smooth kisses’ but it was adorable, nonetheless. I love to kiss my kids whether they like it or not. 

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I love my kids. Sure, they drive me up the wall and make me want to run out of the house sometimes… but I wouldn’t stay gone for long. I’d miss them too much.

I hope all you MOMs out there were shown love by your kids this Mothers Day… and I pray it continues for a lifetime.

Thanks for joining us on this journey. Feel free to share our story 🙂 In Him, Leslie

 

Birthday Boy

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Yesterday we celebrated Adam’s Birthday. Born April 29th, 1975 we celebrated him turning 39 years old. Thirty. Nine. He’s practically a dinosaur. Although… he has a baby face. So he’s more like a baby dinosaur…? Nah. He’s really an amazing husband, father and friend. He is all this and so. much. more. He’s also a Pastor. Sometimes I like to call him Mr. Pastor Pants. He loves hates when I call him that. As I gush and write about this baby dinosaur, who I also like to call Mr. Pastor Pants, I want to tell you how I really feel about this Birthday Boy. . .

Grateful.

I’m so grateful to be Adam’s wife. I’m grateful to know him. Really know him. More than anyone else does. Being in the ministry, Adam is a transparent Pastor, but no one truly knows him like I do. So… lemme tell ya what I know… 😉 He’s transparent and authentic. He’s motivated and passionate. He’s intense and focused. He’s wholeheartedly in love with me, our kids and most importantly, Jesus Christ. And he lives his life committed to serving Jesus and Shepherding people into relationship with Him. Buuut… B.U.T…T, before you get any ideas about his near angelic qualities… let me emphasize, he’s not perfect. However, he is amazing… And, I am grateful.

“When I see him, my heart skips a beat. There’s love in his eyes for me, for our kids, driven by his relentless dedication to our family. There’s truth on his tongue, fire in his soul and conviction in his veins to serve the One he loves wholeheartedly, the only One he loves more than me. We laugh, we cry, we fight, we love. Happy Birthday to an amazing husband, father and friend, full of passion, honor, and strength. I love you Adam… always and forever.”

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I wrote this and posted this picture on our shared Facebook page for his birthday.

There are moments we don’t see thru the same lens. There are times we are anxious stressed and fight. There are hours we waste arguing grumbling complaining. There are days we grow discontent prideful and arrogant. There are seasons we lose sight of GRATE. FULL. NESS. 

But God. . .

He keeps us together when were falling apart. He whispers our names when we have a dear ear. He softens our hearts when they grow hard.  He pours out His love when our well is dry. In His kindness, His mercy, His grace ~ He makes us grateful. Grateful for one another. Grateful for our marriage. Grateful for our family. Grateful for our lives. Grateful for Him as our Shepherd Savior and Friend.

Our marriage is a gift and I am grateful to God for Adam. I am grateful he was born thirty-nine years ago… I am grateful he is not a dinosaur. I wouldn’t marry a dinosaur. I am grateful he is my amazing husband, Mr. Pastor Pants 😉

Overflowing with thankfulness for this Birthday Boy today… Thanks for reading and sharing in our story! In Him, Leslie

my dumb blog

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Dear 5 faithful readers of my blog… or perhaps I should re-phrase… Dear mom,

I have had this dumb blog for a few years now. We’re going on 2.5 years of blog blissfulness, actually. Wow time really flies when you’re writing a dumb blog. I have changed the blog appearance, theme, pictures, layout and design several times. I grow bored quite easily. I started blogging on WordPress… then had a little blog affair over at google on blogger, and now I’m back. Fully committed to my marriage with WordPress. Although, I must be honest with you, I am not fully committed to the blog title – thebabsfam – but that will be another dumb blog for another time.

Now, for clarification purposes, let me clarify I do not think my blog is really dumb, just sorta dumb. Much of the time – okay ALL of the time – I second guess what I am writing / have written, therefore leading me to the conclusion that what I have written is mostly dumb. Although…, the fact that I typically write between the hours of 1 and 2am -after several rounds of coffee and sugary cinnamon coated monkey bread- could perhaps, possibly, maybe just maaaaybe, have a slight impact on my second guessing what I’ve written. Here is what typically happens: I write something amazing at 1am, publish at 2am, and wake up at 7am with a double minded hazy hangover, feeling like everything I wrote was dumb…or at least sorta dumb.  If I sound like I’m upset about my dumb blog – the big elephant on the internet would be … why do I keep writing?

I have over 125 drafted blogs in my ‘draft box’. And within those drafted… yet to be published blogs… I have drafts within the drafts… all Half written. Stories that constantly swirl inside my brain just waiting for a chance to explode on paper, or rather, onto the internet. Stories that taunt me from the deep desire within me to write. them. out. Stories God placed within my heart soul and mind from the time I was born… I learned how to write around age 4.5, right mom? I’m pretty certain I have been writing for 32 years… but the internet can be a dark, scary place to publish your stories… why do I keep writing?

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a few of my journals…

I am a writer. It is a truth nestled deep within my bones. And although I will still second guess my dumb blog, I can not help but write. I am a writer. It is a truth nestled deep within many pages. I have volumes of journals filled with stories to tell. Stories you 5 faithful readers, need to know! Stories my mom already knows! Stories of God -me- and God. Everything I write begins -and ends- with Him. My life and all of my stories, published, drafted and half written, begin and end with Him. Thankfully, God still uses me, even when I write dumb blogs.

So this dumb blog is full. honest. disclosure. Much of the time, I will second guess what I publish, but I have been trying to live a #NoRegretNewYear …That sounds dumb. What does that even mean? It means, I don’t care if it’s already halfway thru the month of April, I am living the rest of this year with #NoRegrets. God has written the stories of my life I desire to write. He is in charge of my life… therefore, He should be in charge of my blog, even when I feel like it’s dumb… I know my dumb blog has a purpose.

I am grateful to live my life with minimal regrets. I am grateful to have the opportunity to write a dumb blog. I am grateful for the physical ability to type, for the computer I type on, WordPress and the internet I publish on… and most importantly – I am grateful to God for the stories He gives me.  It is never too late to be grateful. And, It is never to late to start writing and publishing a blog… even if you feel like it is a dumb blog.

Thanks for reading my dumb blog! In Him ~ Leslie

Seeing without Pictures

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These are my random thoughts from Tuesday, March 4th ~ read at your own risk.

It is 1am. I have recently consumed a pot of coffee and several tablespoons of sugar biscuits in the form of monkey bread, so there is no telling what might funnel out of my mind and onto the keyboard. I should probably go to bed, because in approximately 8 hours, 10 women and their children will walk up my front steps, knock on my front door and enter my home. How do I know this? Am I physic? No. I have Bible study at my house tomorrow… err… today.

Alas, I am not going to bed yet. I am writing what you are now reading. This was the only time for me to write. Earlier today, I opened up my trusty ol’ Mac. Apple. Tosh. laptop. We’ve been in each others lives for 10 years now… we’ve shared many memories, stories and photos. It’s been a good relationship overall, but today my Mac failed me. The screen was black. I was growing anxious. I really wanted to write this morning… About my thoughts from Monday, because my Tuesday thoughts hadn’t happened yet… So I re-started, I tried, I prayed, I cried… and darkness. The screen was still black. I knew this day was coming. The dinosaur Macbook was going to expire sooner or later.

I stared at a black screen. Wishing, hoping, praying it would come back to life. Panicking over the memories stored on its hard drive, I grew increasingly frustrated as the moments ticked by. I only care about my photos. Nothing else on the laptop matters. We talked with the Apple store and there is a good chance they can recover the data. There’s still hope. Yet I was past the point of recovering from my anxiety. I was so caught up in recovering the past. I must have my photos, to preserve the memories! My mind swirled with thoughts of frustration and anxiety. There was nothing I could do to change the black screen. I was wasting time fretting, worrying over saving the past, while ignoring the memories to be made right in front of me.

My youngest daughter was playing happily in our living room, while her brother and sister were in school, and I was internally freaking out, sitting a few feet from her. What’s wrong with this picture?! Me. I was missing a myriad of moments to be cherished with her. I was missing her hugs. her questions. her stories. her laughter. her toothless smile. My heart was convicted. The cloud of anguish over (possibly – hopefully not) losing our family photos lifted. The Holy Spirit gently nudged me to close the black screen and let. it. go.

So I did. We played and talked and ate lunch together. We created memories. I didn’t need to take a picture to be saved on my phone, transferred to my laptop, or uploaded onto social media. My heart preserved the moment. 

I really really really -did I say really- hope our photos will be recovered. I love taking pictures. I love looking at old photos. The kids and I love looking at pictures from when ‘they were babies’. They are still -and always will- be my babies. Everyday I have to hold them is a gift. I don’t want to miss these gifts, because I am staring at a screen.

There are still future stories I hope to capture in photos to be saved and shared. In the meantime, I am coming out from behind the dark screen, into the light, where I can see. I can see without pictures. My children before me. My husband beside me. My friends around me. My life ahead of me. I see. And I really need to go to bed now, so I can see the women who are coming to my house for Bible study in the morning. After they leave, I will definitely be taking a nap. Amen.