coffee thoughts.

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the other day salem announces – “if i had three hands, i could play even more video games!”
this was clue number 341 alerting us salem might – just might – be addicted to video games.
aaaand he’s only 6 years old.
intervention needed immediately.


“mommy, can we watch something?”
“mommy, when can we watch something?”
“mommy, can we pick something to watch?”
“mommy, can we each pick something to watch today?”

“whhhaaaatttt??? stop asking me about watching t.v.!”

later that day, after several rounds of not-so-great behavior and over-reactions… i calmly said angrily yelled – we are not watching t.v. or playing any video games tomorrow!

kids (thinking) – what?!? 
did mom just say what i thought she said? 
yep. she said it. 
mom (simultaneously thinking) – why, why, why, why, why – did i do this to myself???
usually, it’s better for mom to have the t.v. on… the kids are sucked in and not fighting or whining.
but isn’t that the wrong approach?
[and no, i’m not against t.v. or video games, all together]
…

so the kids made it through the next day without playing any video games or having the television on… with two exceptions: a half hour episode of martha speaks in the a.m. and charlie brown in the p.m.
now before you give me a pat on the back and a hefty congratulations for being a mom that sets and keeps firm boundaries, i found out after they came home from school, each of them watched a cartoon in their respective classes. i guess because it was friday, movie day at school? i don’t know…
…
what i do know is this:
salem thinks about video games a lot of the time.
selah thinks about dora and diego.
and soleil thinks about barbie movies… or her new favorite show on netflix – d.c. cupcakes.
…
i don’t know about the rest of you, but i have coffee thoughts most of the time…
and adam does too.
this makes for great fun in our life and chit chat.
i am the one responsible for adams addiction to coffee.
he never knew good coffee until he started drinking with me.
he rarely drank coffee at all until knowing me.
i am so proud.
most of the time, when we are planning when and where to go somewhere, the first part of our planning process is – when and where will we have our coffee?

coffee is an integral part of our everyday life.
we look forward to our coffee everyday.
and this begs the question – does God really care about our $4 mocha?
yes. to a point.
we love coffee, but we don’t think about it more than God and His desires.
* we love coffee * but we can live without it.
…
what do you spend your time thinking of?
our thought patterns begin at a young age.
right now, our kids spend much of their time thinking of t.v., movies and video games…
but we know they can live without these things.
recently, we have had more days with less t.v. and video games swirling in the background.
this has been refreshing and wonderful.
there has been less sibling conflict.
there has been more communication.
and creativity and laughter have flourished.
…
our minds can be filled up all day long with whatever silliness, seriousness, selfishness, shallowness, or  simplicity.
my greatest desire is to fill my mind, my heart and my body with God’s Word and Worship…
after my first cup of coffee, preferably 😉
…
What do you desire to fill up with?

*thank you for reading 🙂 feel free to share and follow our blog! as always… these half written records are to be continued…
In Him, Leslie

attack of the Easter Bunny… and the enemy

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so, the Easter Bunny just attacked our town a few days ago… what now?
colored eggs, unfound, cracked, left in fields, waiting to decay…

Easter Sunday at our church we had ‘no eggs. no bunny. just Jesus.’ 
we also have ‘no budget.’
we are a frugal church, with little excess finances for plastic eggs filled with candy and promises of tooth decay…
however, we did have four amazing services over the weekend, between our two campuses on the east side of Columbus.
we worshipped Jesus and celebrated His death and resurrection.
humbled by His great love, many lives were changed forever by His great name!
what else can we ask for?

to win the battle… against the attacks of our enemy, satan… our adversary… err, the devil. or the slithering snake, or fallen angel… whatever you want to call him. i usually don’t have very nice names for him.

about this time every year, we freak out.
it usually begins in January… and worsens as Easter Sunday approaches…
our stress increases, our blood pressure rises, fighting festers, the dread of tax season looms, sickness abounds, winter lingers… and the cloudy days drag on and on and on and on and on… 
and to top it all off, we have attacks from the enemy.
and we battle. 
worship increases. prayer increases. aaand… my spiritual dreams increase.
i have had several spiritual dreams since we began working in the ministry. i have heard from God in many ways ~ thru His word, His voice and His people. aaand… thru spiritual dreams. at the risk of sounding like a crazy person… you can just count me in as a lune for Jesus. i am obsessed with Him. there is nothing else i want more.

early last week, i had a dream where in the ‘first scene’ i was observing people in a large crowd. and three people stood out to me. two men and one woman. one of the two men was bullying a few people. and the woman was dressed in rags. i made note of it, but didn’t think much else. in the ‘second scene’, i was in an office building. it was a shared space between the office workers and a ministry. i was standing in line next to the break room, waiting to get coffee {of course.} and the woman (who i had seen previously dressed in rags) was accusing me of thinking she was a homeless person. this woman, was now dressed in office attire, and we were arguing about her assumption of me. i was growing angry from her accusations and defending myself and the truth of what i was thinking. in the meantime, i see one of the two men bullying one of the ministry workers. he was poking at the ministry worker with a long pointer stick, saying, ‘you don’t have a right to be here and have use of this building, etc…’. i grew more angry, and with boldness grabbed the stick from the man and threw it into the break room above the refrigerator. as i threw his stick, i was yelling at the man to stop it and leave the ministry worker alone. then i started to leave the room, and as i was walking out i said to the man, ‘i know you’re going to try and get me back for stopping you, and you can come after me, but i don’t care because i have Jesus Christ, and He is everything that i need!’ 

at that very moment, i woke up. my heart was beating fast and i knew it was a spiritual dream, and that i had just been in battle. next to me, our youngest daughter was in our bed. she had fallen the day before and busted her lip, so she crawled in our bed pretty early that night, since she wasn’t sleeping well from the pain. a few minutes after i woke up, i heard her say, “we love you” in her sleep. i don’t know if she had been dreaming and was talking to Jesus, but i like to think that she was 🙂

it is difficult to put into words all of the battles we endure <yes, even from me – a big talker – an external processor – who is rarely without words>
one common battle is sickness.
this winter, we have endured so much sickness as a family. we have dealt with sickness more than i would like to remember. our three kids have been sick so much, they have missed nearly too much school. i have been sick more than any other season in my life. and adam [who rarely ever gets sick] was sick. a lot.
although we always knew there was a light at the ‘end of the tunnel’… we grew weary, discouraged and drained with all of the sickness swirling around our household.

we changed our diet for a while – we became *temporarily vegan*. we ate a lot of canned beans. we cut out most of our dairy. it was rough. i mostly failed at the task. during one of our *becoming vegan* conversations, adam said he had been researching canned beans and found that there was BPA on the cans. my response, “oh. my. shit.” sorry for the explicative, but it is what i said. so we changed our diet back to being carnivores. not much changed. i am not shaky anymore from a lack of protein, but we still got sick.
i attacked the germs head on with vinegar and a rag. i disinfected every corner of the house. and even though sickness returned, i still stand by my all natural cleaners. all the other stuff gives me a headache. even when i pass the cleaning aisle at target, i get a headache and sick to my stomach.
and in the midst of these periods of sickness, other things were happening.
i really hate to give the enemy of our souls too much credit, but we were in the midst of a spiritual battle.
Jesus battled the enemy in Matthew 4, and in 1 Peter 5:8, we are warned to beware of the enemy.

the Saturday night before Easter Sunday, our youngest became ill with a fever, projectile vomiting and diarrhea. we had just been at the park playing together, ran an errand, went to eat dinner and suddenly she became sick. again… and the night before our Easter services, no less… hmmm…

so we battled. we worshipped prayed and cleaned up the mess. we moved forward in hopes that she would become miraculously better overnight. and she did. praise God.

our hunger for God will not been satisfied, and our desire to experience His presence will not wane.
two verses that have been continuously impressed upon my heart recently are Jeremiah 29:13 and Deuteronomy 4:29… “you will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all of your heart.”

the more we seek the Lord, hunger after Him, desire to walk in His ways, know Him better, worship Him more intimately, love Him more deeply, become obsessed with Him… we will find Him! what an amazing promise to stand on!!!

there is no greater joy than serving Jesus. and as we pursue Him, it is pretty much a guarantee that we will deal with spiritual battles throughout our walk with Him. we know He is with us in the battle that rages around us. He is leading us. He is fighting for us. He is our calm in the midst of the storm. He is our shelter at all times.

the Bible is full of stories and verses that speak to us about His presence with us in the battles we face. I am so grateful for a God who loves me so much, and has a personal relationship with me, and speaks to me thru His word, His voice, His people, and thru dreams…

there are so many more stories i could tell of battles and dreams and hearing God’s voice… but for now, i will leave you with this verse…
“So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” amen. 

In Him, Leslie

counting sheep.

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Easter is coming up here soon. in one week and one day to be exact. 
Easter is one of the two Sunday’s when many people visit churches as ECC’s – “Easter & Christmas Churchgoers”, or so the stats say… 
sooo… many of the churches ’round here -in Picktizzytown– are pulling out all the stops and prepping for a full house, lights-camera-action, hit one outta the park, bangin’ Sunday service! 
including advertising additional service times and easter eggs falling from the sky…sorta like “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” minus the scientist making it happen, but – and of course there is a but – including the news coverage and expecting a large crowd response / uh-hem turnout. 
and we are pulling out the cross. 
and the ‘stations of the cross‘. 
and having a 7a.m. sunrise service. *bonus*.
dang. this chick is sure being critical of the churches in her town…
perhaps it sounds that way, and i will tell you why. 
[they deserve it] 
ha ha. no – for realz…
it’s not that an extra church services or easter egg hunt [with an unprecedented number of eggs] on land are wrong, or a shower of easter eggs falling from the sky is un-biblical… 

you see, eight years ago we began serving in our church as the youth and associate pastor, and me {his awesome wife} as one of the worship leaders.

fast forward a few years and adam became the senior pastor… and shortly afterwards, we became sheep counters. 
we settled into this really bad habit of counting sheep.

not the before you go to bed kind of counting sheep. 
rather, counting the number of sheep in our field -the sheep we were shepherding- the number of sheep in our church kind of sheep. 
and all of sudden we found ourselves competing with the church down the street.
‘i bet such and such church has more people than we do because they have bigger programs and a better parking lot and cooler signs and a hip website and a larger sanctuary and a formal sound system and tastier coffee [well, this one is most likely true] and blah blah blah…’ the list could go on and on.
and… ‘maybe so and so who just left our church now goes to such and such church down the street’. 
ugh. 
you can see this ‘lil bad habit of counting sheep was exhausting the Shepherds… not numerically… but spiritually. 
and we noticed something – this was a sneaky habit – a lie from the enemy, dripping with distraction.
and this was a distraction which focused our hearts more on pleasing man than God.
ugh. and ugly.
many of the regular attenders in our church don’t attend every. single. sunday.
life happens and it’s nearly impossible to have perfect church attendance.
and many of the regular attenders in our church are reading this blog and wondering, ‘is she talkin’ ’bout me?!’ 
please, no worries.
and some, who were regular attenders for a long time, no longer attend. 
again, no worries.
so we counted our sheep, wondering why they did not attend more often, and where did some of them go?
and we would plague ourselves with questions and counting… 
perhaps they grew tired of hearing Adam’s sermons or were irritated with the way I led worship one Sunday, or the songs I chose, or the way I parted my hair that day… or perhaps they were hurt by us, or someone else in our congregation… or perhaps we don’t know why. and this is okay.

does this mean once you visit our church you have to commit to a certain number of years together and sign up to attend all the events, drink the coffee and eat the donuts? no. 
does this mean the people who have left our church are going to hell? hell no!
since our churches birth in the year 2000, many people have entered our creaky glass doors, slobber-stained from our three year olds lips…some have stayed a while, some for a short time and some have walked out those glass doors, never to return again.
…
so if you’re there… we will hopefully notice. and if you’re not there, we will probably notice.
does this make us a horrible pastor / awesome pastors wife combo? no… but it certainly makes us human. 
…
graciously, the Lord turned our hearts affection back to Him alone.
we no longer count our sheep in competition with the church down the street.  
we know who we are called to be as a church and our identity is fully in the Lord Jesus ~ the True Shepherd.
we are counting our sheep because we care for them within our calling to Shepherd them.
…
the grass is not always greener on the other side. 
you have to beg the question ‘where [to which church] are you called?’
you have to listen to the answer with the intent to obey.
it is a continual commitment to consciously commit to Christ. 
and it takes a continual commitment to consciously commit to a church. 
it takes work to get your ass to any church, peeps. and believe you-me, i understand. on the off Sundays when i am not leading worship, i usually stroll in about 10:05am… a little late and a lot irritated with myself for being late. i have no excuse. sure, i have to motivate three small kids to get their rears in gear and get out the door and around the corner for our two-minute commute to church. oh, did i mention we live 1/8 of a mile from our church? and yes, some days we are still late. sad but true.
if you profess to be a follower of Christ, He is calling you to commitment. 
He calls us to commitment to Himself and to His bride ~ the church body. 
our walk with Him is a narrow road, filled with joy and pain, rejection and love, persecution and gain.
it is not so easy, but it is so rewarding.  
…
we want new sheep, not sheep from another field. 
we want committed sheep, not those accustomed to changing fields. 
we want sheep who will know the Shepherds voice. JESUS. 
we want humble sheep who will are willing to be led. 
we want hungry sheep who are called to graze with us.
we desire to see lives changed, new disciples committed to Christ Jesus and His church.
we hope if God has called you to a church, you will commit there and won’t hop around.
we pray you will hear the voice of the Lord and *know* His voice.
we look to see what the Father is already doing and join Him in that work. 
we are hungry for God’s word and want to grow and learn with those who called to our church {field}.
…
there are so many great churches in our town… and there are still so many seats in all of these churches yet to be filled ~ with people yet to hear about Jesus, and know that He loves them and to be committed to a church. 
so, we will not compete. we will commit. 
we will be true to who we are, as a fully human prone-to-mistakes pastor and his fully human {and awesome, also prone-to-mistakes} wife. 
we will pray for and shepherd those people God calls into our church.
we will stay true to who God has called Eastside Vineyard Church to be. 
and we will not have easter eggs falling from the sky. sorry. 
well. not really 😉  
In Him, Leslie 
*please note, this blog is not all-encompassing. nor i am addressing all of the circumstances for every “should i stay or should i go?” from my current church situation. it’s just a piece of our lives in ministry, so far…half written.

Xtreme Running

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i used to be an extreme runner…
now it’s not like i’m an ultra runner that’s insane running.
i used to be extreme because i would obsess over running… it was like a drug. i couldn’t wait for my next running fix -aka- four miles on the trail.
i kept track of my miles and averaged between 18-24 miles per week. and i would be frustrated if i ran less.
this year i have lightened up a lot. i still like to run…but i don’t obsess over the number of miles i’m logging.
this is partially because i don’t have a current running goal. in the past few years, i completed my first 1/2 marathon and several other races. i loved all these experiences but…
this year i stopped keeping track and started walking more.
there are many reasons why… but mainly because i only want to obsess over one thing – JESUS!
even more than an extreme runner, i am an extreme worshipper.
…
today i was doing the dishes and strongly felt the Lords presence with the Jesus Culture – Live from NYC worship CD playing in the background.
doing dishes is seemingly a menial task but it can also be powerful. often times, i hear God when i’m doing the dishes.
several years ago, i read a book that changed my life… The Practice of the Presence of God – Brother Lawrence was a monk who served the Lord, and was preoccupied with having a sensitivity to the Lords presence, even in the simple daily tasks he was required to do.
Brother Lawrence primary job was cleaning up after others. sounds like motherhood, huh?
…
i also hear God when i am on a walk / run… or when i go “wogging”… or ”jalking”.
today i was planning to do 3 miles on the tread mill – a sure thing – easy peasy lemon squeasy – get on, zone out while watching t.v., 3 miles later get off. certainly nothing extreme about it.
however, today was a beautiful day, so adam really encouraged me to go running outside.
ugh, i thought. i’ll just go on the treadmill and get it over with – it’s safe – …but our God is not safe.
…
so i ran around my hood listening to the Jesus Culture NYC CD blaring in my headphones.
as soon as my foot hit the pavement, this became extreme running and extreme worship.
i ran, danced, skipped, jogged backwards, twirled, lifted my hands, leaped and jumped for joy, i felt like i was flying down the hills…
i looked crazy but i didn’t care it was wonderful!
and we don’t live in a quiet secluded neighborhood…
i felt like a gazelle running, leaping thru the air, but i probably looked more like an elephant pounding the pavement 🙂 still i didn’t care. and i didn’t cough – praise God – because of laughter this week! hahahahaha!!!
when we were attending Christ for the Nations Bible Institute, there was another student who was constantly looking up toward heaven everywhere she walked. i always thought she looked a little awkward, now i’m that girl.
today my soul was filled with freedom / song lyrics / reminder of my calling – worship / my need to dance before the Lord…

still, there are limits to extreme running – there is an attachment to our neighborhood where older folks live. i used to run there, but one day was stopped by a resident and told their streets were private and me walking thru there with my three year old would be likened to one of them coming and standing on my front lawn.  huh? that made no sense to me. their hood is an ‘off shoot’ of ours, where those residents have to drive thru the main road in our our hood in order to get to theirs. that day i was walking on the road, not near any of their houses – with my three year old. still i was told the residents had a right to call the police if any non residents were walking thru. and she kindly pointed out to me the ‘no trespassing’ signs. wow. i had just assumed those were for robbers or to discourage loitering. not for me and my three year old…

anyhoo – there might be boundaries in where you can go for extreme running, but there are no boundaries in extreme worship. in fact, freedom is encouraged. but beware, you might get a few stares if you’re dancing before the Lord, combining extreme running and extreme worship. 2 Samuel 6:14-16.
…
as the songs played and i went on, i was rounding a curve on the sidewalk listening to “Walk with Me” and i walked by one of my neighbors standing by her garage door. i smiled and waved and kept walking – but listening to the lyrics and the Holy Spirit, i turned around! she was now getting her mail, so i approached her, introduced myself and we talked for a minute. then i said ‘i don’t want to bother you, but i’m a Christian and as i was walking by you a minute ago, i felt like i should ask if you have any prayer requests’. she was very grateful and said ‘yes, i am a believer too’. she told me about her need, we talked a little more and i got to pray with my neighbor!
…
so maybe you can’t do extreme running, but everyone can go walking and give extreme worship a try! trust me, you will burn calories and so much more if you give it your all!


hahahahaha

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february was a rough month for us…
wrapped up in our family and life circumstances, stress abounded, fighting resounded and weaved into all of the frustration, i have not stopped coughing like gollum.
…
nothing unusual.
nothing earth shattering.
just life.
tough circumstances visit everyone on this planet. stress makes itself at home in our houses. disappointments knock on our doors. frustrations take root in our backyards. no one is immune.
we all view what makes up stress, frustrations, disappointments and tough circumstances differently.
we see from the lens of the life we live. our perspective.
how we choose to react is what makes us unique.
…
we have chosen to wallow in our self pity. we have allowed it to suck our life away, steal our joy and frustrate our spirits…but not for long!

in the past month of coughing like gollum, i’ve been talking about being sick and how i wish i was feeling better and woa is me and blah blah blah. and it hate talking about sickness. and adam hates listening to me talk about it .
one night i could not stop coughing, adam was laughing at me and suggested i try laughing when i felt a cough coming. and it worked. HA! each time i felt the need to cough, i would yell HA instead. yep. i sounded crazy, but i didn’t cough the rest of that evening. for that one night, i was cough free. if you have a lingering cough, you should try it sometime. my joy returned.

in the past month, selah has been refusing to go into her children’s ministry class. this may sound like no big deal for some…*but for a pastor and his wife leading worship, it can be a big deal to have their three year old sitting contentedly thru a church service for approximately 100 minutes.  
this past sunday, she was unusually feisty, refusing to go into class. she laid in the hallway while every one else, including our children’s director, walked around her. no one was shocked by her antics.
i had to leave her there to begin the service with worship. my stress rose up and my attitude went downhill. adam went to check on selah as we began service almost ten minutes late. during that first song, my heart began to change. i see adam bringing selah into the sanctuary. my frustration with her was gone. she wanted to be with us and in worship. my joy restored.
then during adams sermon, she sat with me, quiet… until she hit a point of boredom. i was ready to take her out of the service… she yells out ‘i’m tired!’ and in the middle of his sermon, adam responds to her, “i’m tired of you crying.” it was hilarious. we all started laughing. she quieted down a few minutes later and fell asleep beside me for the rest of the service. whew.

our kids argue and fight, which i know might be hard for you to believe. yes. they do. they are not ‘perfect pastors kids’. those don’t even exist, btw. and when they do, my emotions can snowball into getting upset right along with them. but those times when i am full of joy, i respond differently. i start laughing, which immediately makes the tension lighter. they look at me for my response… “just take it outside, go ahead, beat each other up.” then they look at me like i’m crazy because they know i’m not being serious. suddenly, whatever was frustrating them melts away.  sometimes, we make them hug it out as their punishment. and other times, if i sense attitudes rising, i just smile and say “you betta check yo’ self!” that’s always a good one 😉 oh and we adults are not exempt. a pastor and his wife can argue too. we get so upset with each other over the silliest things. thankfully, we insist on always communicating and won’t stay mad at one another for long. laughter breaks up the arguments. joy replaces the anger.

these are just a few life circumstances we try and eventually laugh about. they seem trivial after we ‘check ourselves’. they aren’t life or death situations or anything… but we have experienced deep pain and chosen joy. we have lost our jobs, struggled thru deep disappointments, felt wounding rejection in relationships, experienced the loss of a child thru miscarriage, and just a few weeks ago, we said our earthly goodbyes to my grandpa.

we chose joy when we almost lost salem at three months old. that night he was sleeping in his crib and adam felt the Holy Spirit prompt him to check on our little ‘bubs’. he was barely breathing and turning blue. we called the squad and the next thing i know, we were in the back of an ambulance being rushed to children’s hospital. he had every medical test known to man done to him. he was poked, prodded and prayed for. at the hospital we called our families and church for prayer support. after we knew salem was out of immediate danger and stabilized, i reverted to making jokes. it was my coping mechanism. we were under such stress. we were in the hospital for five long days and celebrated our christmas that year in salem’s hospital room. upon his release from the hospital, he was perfectly healthy. the doctors had speculation, but after all the test results were in, there was never a finite answer for the cause of his almost death experience. he was released from the hospital: cause unknown. 




we know prayer can change anything. we trust that God is in control of all circumstances. we chose joy in that stressful time of our lives. upon returning home, we watched salem every night for several months, worried it might happen again. we are so grateful that now he is a healthy amazing six year old boy!
…
this might all sound like silliness and simplicity. but we choose to laugh in the face of stress and frustrations. smile in the face of our disappointments. and choose joy in the midst of our all circumstances.
hahahahaha!
we will put our hope in Christ and choose joy!
…
the apostle paul is one of my heros when it comes to having joy in all circumstances. he was shipwrecked, hungry, tired, imprisoned, and lived with a thorn in his flesh. he suffered adverse circumstances and severe persecution, and he maintained joy at all times ~ all for Christ.
paul talked about his suffering. he never pretended it didn’t exist. i don’t know why – in the american church – we ever started doing that! keeping silent or pretending about what your circumstances are is the worst way to handle things. it will isolate you from the community Christ has called us all to. and the enemy can more easily discourage and defeat those who isolate themselves. God Himself was three-in-one {Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit}.
paul remained in community whenever he could. he was authentic with what was going on in his life. he was honest about his aches and pains. but he didn’t dwell on them. he didn’t stay in the pit of despair. he relied on the community he was called to serve for their support. he gave thanks in all circumstances and encouraged them to do the same.
one of my favorite books in the Bible about maintaining joy in all circumstances is Philippians, especially chapter 4.
…
if you are discouraged or despair in your circumstances, reach out to Jesus, to others, find a healthy church community and read Philippians.
then take time to laugh loudly {LOL!} in the face of your distress and give thanks in all circumstances.
hahahahaha!!!