bars n brothels

last week, i went to see Les Miserables… 
at. the. movie. theater. 
we rarely go to the movie theater, so i was wide eyed and giddy like a kid in a candy shop like i am normally.
i went with my sister in law, Amber… aaaaand, we were the only two people in the theater.
we snuggled into our seats, watched every frame with our eyes glued to the screen, and belted out the tunes along with the cast.
i love the Les Mis story and the music. 
i’ve seen it on broadway. 
but this time, i watched it from a mothers perspective…
this time, Fantine’s story struck me deeply…
her sacrifice and hard work to provide for Cosette.
her hopelessness and the depth of her despair, driving her to a place where she stopped living, even before she died.
the brothel. 

watching this story play out in a movie is one thing – seeing it in ‘real life’ is another.

on friday nights, a small group from our church goes out from 10pm-3am to serve the late night crowd in our community. we call it the Living Water Bar ministry.
we pray for the Holy Spirit to lead us as we go to different bars in our town, offering coffee and water to those in need. and we pray for opportunities to connect with and pray for the people we meet.

last friday night i had the opportunity to go out with the group for the first time.
we went to the first bar we felt led to, and talked with the bouncers.  then the manager told us we could not serve there.
oh well. adam was able to pray with one of the bouncers before we left.
*awesome*.
then we regrouped in the parking lot, praying about our next move.
nearby is an antique store we frequent and the whole area has a sense of darkness and desperation.
close by that bar and area is a strip club i have felt drawn to pray for the last 8 years we’ve lived here.
so i suggested – let’s go to Rachel’s!
as soon as we drove around the corner, my heart started pounding and i felt heat.
my spirit rose up and i started to pray.
this is what happens to me when i sense the Holy Spirit moving and prompting me to move.

we pulled up, stood outside with our coffee and water under the awning near the front door, prayed and waited.
The presence of the Holy Spirit was so strong.
we got the sense to go behind the building.
i heard the Lord whisper ‘back door’ and ‘the battle of Jericho‘.
so a few of us walked back and the spiritual heaviness increased.
we noticed the back door with a dumpster in front of it, and behind the strip club was a motel…
or rather, a brothel.
as we walked and prayed, i had a picture flash across my mind, of a woman being pushed out of the back door and then another picture flash of death over the empty swimming pool behind the club, next to the brothel.
we walked down the ally parking lot area, in between the club and the brothel.
we didn’t have any fear, but rather an awareness of the Lord’s protection.
we each prayed silently as we walked, a few cars came in and out of the lot in front of the brothel and we saw a few guys coming in and out of the brothel doors. we realized we would not be able to circle the building (as in the battle of Jericho), so we walked back toward the front of the club.
again we waited and prayed.
we offered coffee and water to a few people coming in and out of the club and then a young lady came out for a smoke break. my friend kristen engaged in conversation with her for a few minutes before she went back inside.
we then felt led to walk behind the building again.
this time, kristen and i saw two young ladies waiting outside one of the brothel doors.
we approached them, offering coffee and water while nick and james waited for us, watching out for us.
they said no thanks to the coffee water but as we talked with them for a few minutes, i asked ‘well, do you need prayer for anything? we’d love to pray for you!’
they said ‘yes’ and kristen prayed a prayer of God’s love, protection and care over them.
in the meantime, i kept my eyes open watching several guys come in and out of the brothel doors on the 2nd floor and go up and down the stairs. nick and james were watching too, keeping an eye out for us. one of the guys approached us, totally strung out, as we started praying. he was meeting the girls. they told him to wait until after we prayed for them…he walked away for a few minutes.
then as we were almost finished praying, he got ansy and came back saying, ‘sorry i need to rush this, but, umm… we’ve got stuff to do’.
{really dude? stuff to do? no shit. i think we are all aware of what you are doing.}
 we calmly said ‘that’s fine’ and thanked the girls for being open to us praying for them. then said good bye, telling them again how beautiful they are and sharing God’s love for them.
we walked back to the front of the club, and continued praying protection and for the light to shine thru the darkness all around that place.
while we were behind the club, adam had engaged in conversation with a guy leaving the club, who said he was a christian and ended up giving him a ride home. (hopefully adam will write a blog on that whole story another time).
then the young lady kristen had talked with earlier came out again. she talked with her some more and that young lady received prayer!
we prayed for our next step, and were led to a few other bars and prayed with a few other precious people the Lord led us to that night.

my heart was full and broken at the same time.
we were obedient to listen, hear God’s direction and minister to those He led us to.
but we don’t know what happened to the people we prayed for.
still…
we have hope that God’s love covered them and protected them that night.
we hope and pray that one day they will surrender to their own personal relationship with Jesus.
and the Lord reminded me why we go ~ to listen to the story everyone has to share.
like the woman at the well in John 4:1-42, Jesus wants us to show His love and living water to those in need of Him.
like Fantine, some women feel they have no choice but to strip or prostitute themselves in order to provide their children. some are forced into a brothel life by human trafficking or bonded labor.
there is no simple answer to the desperate need the brothel cries out for.
but, there is love...
this is why we go out to pray for people in need.
  because as Christ followers, we are called to love the most desperate.
***
we are called to be light in darkness {Matthew 5:13-16}

***
this is an extremely sensitive subject matter.
i am no expert and there is no easy answer or quick fix.
but i do know God’s love can be the light in the darkness this world so desperately needs.
please, let me know your thoughts.

happy*freakin*holidays

happy. freakin. holidays.

ours went something like this…
a psycho tree. fighting off sickness. two long road trips. consumerism craziness…
and peace.
Emmanuel ~ God with us.
***
’twas the night before Christmas and all thru the Bab’s house, no one was stirring ~ not even the mouse who had pooped in their mini van last month…
the stockings were hung by the window with care, in hopes that mom and dad had all the presents wrapped up with care ~ under the most prickly, pointy, painful Christmas tree known to man…

the wee babs were nestled all snug in their beds ~ while visions of mom and dad wrapping what they written down on their Christmas lists danced in their heads…
and i in my stretchy pants and p.a. in his beanie cap ~ had just settled down to watch Trapped In Paradise as we wrapped… 

after the wrapping was finished, there arose such a laughter ~ as we then watched Christmas episodes of The Office and stayed up a lot later…
we sprang from the couch after the clock turned two a.m. ~ the kids will be up extraordinarily early and we will regret staying up late, yet again.

coffee would need to be consumed first, before they opened their gifts ~ our kids should know…
and they patiently waited on us between the hours of 5:45am [when they woke up] and 8:30am [when we woke up] ~ wouldn’t you know…
inhaling coffee, devouring cinnamon rolls and the Bible Christmas story was read ~ before any gifts were opened around here…
and their anticipation grew ~ as the time to find out what they were getting for Christmas drew near…
excitement enveloped the living room ~ and the time to open presents came quick…
each child was handed a gift to open since they couldn’t be near the tree, or they would be pricked ~ by the dagger needles on the psycho tree we picked from the lot on 256…
squeals of joy and thanks followed each unwrapping ~ as we had previously encouraged no one to complain…
and focusing on the birth of Jesus as the reason we celebrate, thinking *whew* ~ we survived Christmas shopping, once again… 

***
~happy*freakin holiday*truths~
about our psycho tree…
we picked out our tree from a lot on the main drag in our ‘burb.
it’s basically like the wal-mart of Christmas tree shopping.
every year we look forward to the tradition of picking out our tree.
we’ve bought trees from this lot in the past – but this year this one turned psycho on us.
we watered it – but the needles were so sharp – we could’ve drenched it with water and it would not have mattered.
so we threw the decorations on – and enjoyed it – from a distance.
about consumerism…
when the week before Christmas rolls around, we always seem to think up some last minute shopping to do – for crap we don’t need – no matter how much we plan ahead or tell ourselves we will limit our shopping. 
we plan to spend around $50 on each of our kids – but usually we manage to spend closer to $75 per kid – and that seems like a lot of money to spend on what is – essentially – crap.
this year Soleil (8) said, “mommy, i think you are buying me too much stuff.” *ouch*
out of the mouths of babes… this girl has wisdom.
she made Salem a Lego board game – it was one of his favorite gifts.
but we love to give to our kids – so we buy stuff we know they will enjoy – thinking ‘it will bring them happiness’. 
and once again we -walk right into- the trap of consumerism.
and the gifts we have utilized the most since christmas are the *family* gifts we bought – dominoes and table top ping pong – because what our kids enjoy most is spending time with us.
thankfully, they know the gifts they receive are only temporary – they won’t last forever – and they are all made in China.
about our road trip…
this holiday season we did something we’ve never done – we drove to and from Oklahoma (to visit my side of the family) for Thanksgiving and Christmas – that’s a total of 3,700+ miles with three kids 8 and under.
we’ve now declared ourselves legally insane -not really- but we are slightly crazy.
in all seriousness, we had a peace and excitement for the travel. 
there were many moments the Lord reminded me my purpose in going was to just “be”. 
be with family and friends we rarely see – enjoy the brief moments of time we had with them.
enjoy the moments with the kids and Adam – even the moments we felt ‘trapped’ in the car for 17 hours.
Be.

about sickness…
we were all sick on and off during the month of December – Soleil and Salem missed several days of school – and Soleil missed out on her holiday party 😦 
our kids always want to make a gingerbread house every Christmas – and i never do because i never feel like making one – so this year i tried, since Soleil missed her party – and it sucked (but the kids didn’t care-they were just happy i tried)
i never stressed too much about Christmas while we were sick – there was so much out of my control – and the whole experience taught me a lot about trust, rest and peace.
in our sickness, we were weak – and in our weakness, we had peace – and in that peace, we had rest. God was there.
Emmanuel ~ God with us.
thru the freakin holidays and always. 
Happy New Year Everyone!

santa claus, the tooth fairy and the chippendales




the truth is, one of my biggest pet peeves on this earth is… [insert drum roll here]
lying.
skirting around the issue. 
beating around the bush.
fudging the details.
liar liar pants on fire.
yep. all of the above.
growing up, my parents were always honest with me and taught me the value of honesty.
they trusted me and i knew that trust was a gift. so thankful.
when i was around 9 years old, i stole a piece of gum from the local market.
my mom knew it. i tried to hide it with a lie. 
but there was no denying. i was caught blowing a bubble.
i felt remorse for my actions. 
sure. it wasn’t that big of a deal to take a 5 cent piece of gum… or was it?
it was about more than simply obeying the 9th commandment. 
for me, that *sweet pink sugary bubble gum* was a game changer.
fast forward 18 years and P.A. and i became parents for the first time.
we had always valued honesty as individuals and in our marriage… but now…
as parents, we were suddenly thrown into the tempting world of ‘lying to our children’.

‘when does santa claus come to town?’
‘how much money will the tooth fairy bring me?’
‘do cats go to heaven?’
‘mommy, what are chippendales?’ 

suddenly opportunities to lie abound around every corner. 
at what age do we tell our kids ‘santa claus’ doesn’t exist?
how many lose teeth go under the pillow before they figure out the ‘tooth fairy’ is really dad?
what do we say after the cat died during thanksgiving break?…and how do we explain what a ‘chippendale’ is?
 …
last thanksgiving, we went out of town to visit my family in Oklahoma. we left our cat *clancy marie* at home, and a friend came over to check on her. clancy was an older cat. we had thought about ‘what if she dies while we’re gone?’ sure enough, she did. 
when we came home, we found her. it was late. the kids were tired and ready to come inside the house. after all, we had just returned from a 16 hour road trip.
what better time to break the bad news?!
we wasted no time.
‘sorry kids, clancy has died.’
simple. short. to the point.
we said good-bye and daddy buried our sweet clancy marie.
then we came inside and talked thru how everyone was feeling as we prepared for bed that night.
you might have guessed- our kids know that santa claus and the tooth fairy aren’t real. and now they know what chippendales are.

we love the show Amazing Race. we watch it as a family on Sunday nights. this season there is a team of friends who are chippendales. we knew the question would come- ‘mommy, what are chippendales?’

the truth is…
you’re never too young to know the truth.
in fact, if we are grounded in truth as kids, we will grow up with a stronger foundation of truth.
it’s not just about being a ‘moral person’ or checking the 9th commandment off your list of things to do.
it’s about developing a lifestyle of truth.
it’s the need for an epidemic of honesty to break out. and break all the lies we believe.
it’s about raging against a culture of facades.
television, movies, books, magazines, facebook – they are all stories. some true, but most false.
most are a perception of truth over shadowed by a curtain of fluff.



it is what it is. and 

if it’s not true, it is false.

above all, we want our lives to be rooted in truth. God’s truth.
and we desire to instill the value of honesty in our kids.
the truth can hurt. but the lies {even the little ones, meant to do no harm} can hurt more.
lying can breed sin.

‘Gah! are you saying that telling our kids that santa and his elves bring gifts to good boys and girls is a sin?’
no. but start with the little things.
‘sorry kids, life isn’t fair.’
‘sorry kids, i don’t know the answer.’ 
as parents, there is a freedom in telling our kids we don’t know everything.
but we do know santa isn’t real.
sorry kids. he’s not the reason for this season.
‘Gah! well, now you’re just ripping away imagination and fun from their childhood and Christmas!’
no. we’re teaching them the truth. 
don’t worry, our kids still have plenty of creativity and imagination. 
and it’s rooted in truth.
start young. share truth. break lies.
life is a gift santa claus can’t give.
Jesus is the only life giver. Jesus is truth.
He is the greatest gift we could ever receive.
the way. the truth. the life.

hemorrhoids happen.

unless you are plastic barbie doll, my guess is that your life is full of hemorrhoids.
you know… unexpected events, annoying peeps, pesky mice and other fun things we can’t control.
hemorrhoids happen...
unexpectedly, they can creep in and hang around.
inevitably, they will pop up under pressure.
and ultimately, they will irritate you. 
whether it’s election results, sickness, inclement weather, financial flubs, mouse poop and mangled trash, grey hair, rocky relationships, kids misbehaving, family fiascos and other annoying things people do… or don’t do… and their responses or lack of response… or a misunderstanding about something you did or something you didn’t do… or something you said or didn’t say which has been misinterpreted, misjudged, misinformed… the *hemorrhoid happenings* can go on and on and on.
those *fun* life circumstances that you have no control over… they can hang around to irritate like hemorrhoids. 
sooo… whacha gonna do, whacha gonna do, whacha gonna do when they come for you?!
in recent *hemorrhoidal news* our country was divided, choosing between two puppets Presidential candidates to lead us. 
politics. schmolitics. (sigh.) 
is it really worth peoples blood pressure skyrocketing or getting their panties in a wad???
for part of our country, things went “their way” with the re-election of President Obama… and for the other part, “their guy” wasn’t elected, so they consider this another huge hemorrhoid to deal with for the next four years.
our fab fam of five was sick all week. the sickness slowly crept its way around our house, eventually infiltrating all of us. by the end of this week, i personally wanted to scream and took a trip to target for no. reason. at. all. just to get out of the house. aaand *bonus* i ran into a friend there. i felt better temporarily, but the hemorrhoids popped up again in other forms.
in its weakened state, our family had more than its usual share of hemorrhoids. the kids were acting like loony toons. there were all out family feuds. household blunders. leaky toilets. a clogged up sink. bills i kept forgetting to pay. general tasks were neglected. anything extra to do felt like a pain in the a**. and to top it all off // another grey hair emerged on my head. oh hemorrhoids. 
and over the weekend… mouse poop and mangled trash invaded our mini van. about a month ago we found mice *camping out* in our camping equipment stored in the garage. after cleaning everything out we were hoping the mice would just leave. but nope. they had other plans. they boldly hid in our garage for a month and waited for the opportune time to sneak into our mini van and devour fresh snack crumbs. we discovered this fun surprise after the three wee babs and i ran errands all morning, accompanied by the hidden mouse droppings. prepping for a fam bike ride, we were moving things around in the van… and found the droppings. ugh. as we continued cleaning, we found more droppings and mangled trash behind the kids car seats, in their cup holders, on the floor board, etc… adam did an awesome job of cleaning and sanitizing the van and car seats while still salvaging enough daylight to enjoy some family time together. now these little hemorrhoids mice have some lovely traps patiently awaiting their arrival and imminent death. 
but our minor family hemorrhoids [and the major presidential race of hemorrhoids] pale in comparison to the east coast being hit hard by the inclement ridiculously terrible weather, given the sweet name of “hurricane sandy”.  hundreds of thousands of people were in the middle of this catastrophic storm, losing their homes, possessions and some even their lives, while the rest of us went on with our daily routines relatively unscathed. 
{our hearts and prayers are with NYC~when we served at our church Glad Tidings, we lived in Battery Park City~we dearly care for our friends who still live there}
sooo… what do we do when *hemorrhoids happen* in life that we can’t control?
flush ’em out. 
with the Living Water
Jesus.
When the hemorrhoids happen and we are in the middle of life circumstances we can’t control, our only hope for true, deep-rooted, unshakeable, peace is a relationship with Jesus. 
what are you going to put your hope in?  who are you going to put your trust in? 
our hope and trust can’t be in our government, health, wealth, weather or anything else… 
these things won’t last, they will disappoint, they will fail… 
only {putting our} hope and trust in the Living Water {Jesus} can flush the hemorrhoids away… 

7 chicks. 11 kids. 1 God.

on Tuesday’s i host a silly little Bible study…

it’s no big deal. it’s just a handful of chicks and their kiddos.
we just get together to drink…
a lot of coffee, and talk about God.

when we get together i fully expect
large amounts of coffee to be consumed.
meaningful conversations to carry throughout my entire house.
the kiddos to play, bicker, get over it, eat a snack, make a mess. repeat.
and…
silly little Bible study to *magically* happen among the chaos of crazy kiddos and ourselves ~ distracted chicks who, if given a *moment* of silence, will easily bunny trail, interrupt each other and bounce back and forth around several subjects, while remaining a part of various conversations…
a silly little Bible study where we read a few Bible verses. have some discussion. say a little prayer. repeat.

really?! *magic*?! is that all there is to it? 
no. freaking. way.
it is so much more than a silly little Bible study.

the truth is
when we get together i fully expect
coffee consumed.
kid chaos.
shared faith.
prayers said.
hope found.
deeper love.
lives changed.
i fully expect God’s presence to show up. 

last Tuesday, God’s amazing presence poured over us.
a glimpse of *Heaven* came down to earth. in. my. house.

sure. i was prepared for these 7 chicks and 11 kiddos {6 and under} to come busting through my door.
i changed out of my stretchy pants, and briefly tapped into my inner ‘Martha’, while preparing to sit as a ‘Mary’ {their story is referenced in Luke 10:38-42} i cleaned up the living room, meanwhile shoving everything else into the bedrooms.
{out of sight, out of mind is my motto}.

i was ready for this silly little Bible study.
i was ready to drink coffee, share in conversation and read the Bible with the kiddos playing and laughing {sometimes screaming and crying} making their beautiful {and sometimes painful} sounds in the background.

i was fully expectant, hoping for God’s presence to show up. and it did.
prayers were shared.
truth was spoken.
bondages were broken.
God’s love overwhelmed us.

the truth is
if we are not expecting God’s presence to show up, it is just a silly little Bible study.
without God’s presence it is meaningless to get together, share faith, offer pray and gather hope.
it’s all about Jesus.
we fully expect God to do His thing. to love us. change us. renew us. and lead us to go out into the world. guiding us to love the ones in front of us. and for Heaven to touch earth thru us.

I’m a lover of God’s presence.
i can’t wait to see what God will next with these chicks and these kiddos.
i fully expect His presence to overwhelm us, as we enter it with Thanksgiving {Psalm 95:2}.
***
how are you expecting God’s presence to move?