Category: Marriage

Marriage as Mates

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HAD2BU

My Grandparents recently celebrated their 65th wedding Anniversary this past December…

That’s 780 months of marriage… Or 23,725 days!!! Wow-zers!!!

And the thing is – they really love each other.  Still… 65 years later.   They Love.

They chose each other.

They didn’t just stick it out for the “sake of the kids”… their 4 children are fully grown with their own kids (like ME!) and grandkids (like the wee Babs).  It’s safe to say that they have been empty-nesters for a while now.  They didn’t just stay married for the hell of it, or because marriage is the “cool” thing to do.  Or because it was easy and like a sunshine fairytale everyday the past 23,725 days…
Nope.  They chose humility, selflessness, teach-ability, willingness, trust, respect, hard work, dedication, commitment and they chose to grow… together.
They met when they were 5 years old, my Grandpa would ride his horse thru wind, snow and rain to visit his one true love, they married at age 19 and now they drive a Lexus with a license plate that says “HAD2BU”. They began their journey as best friends… and still are.
One of the foundations of a Marriage must be Friendship.  Marriage as Mates.
I am so grateful that P.A. is my B.F.F., my Bestie, my Mate!  We kicked it off that way.  We met working together at a Christian bookstore ~ Mardel.  The first time I saw P.A. I laughed at him.  I made fun of his outfit (because he was totally overdressed for his interview) and teased him about his cologne (because it was waaaayyyy too strong).  He was cool with all of this.  We loved laughing together, and could laugh at ourselves – *bonus*!  We loved hanging out together and talking for hours, and on our lunch breaks, after work, on the phone, any chance we could get.  And it hasn’t changed… much.   Now we have to usually talk over the needs of the wee Babs, or save all of our conversation up until the evening time.  But we talk.  We go crazy if we haven’t talked enough.  A friendship breeds on conversation.  True, deep, authentic conversation.  We love being mates who talk.
And we laugh.  Still we laugh at each other and at ourselves.  We laugh thru the difficult times of pain, hurt, sorrows and screaming wee Babs. We laugh at life when it is hilarious and those times when it’s not so hilarious.  We love being mates who laugh.
P.A. and I are blessed to have (almost) 15 years of marriage under our belts.  Our hobbies and interests (not Pinterests) are also similar.  Since we met, we have truly enjoyed each others company.  We have traveled throughout the US, Europe, and India.  We dream of traveling more.  We love dreaming together.  We love being together.  We both enjoy being outdoors, staying active, keeping fit, eating healthy, reading, drinking coffee, watching the same goofy PBS documentaries, cooking shows, and movies.  And most of all, at the center of our friendship, is our friendship with Jesus.  He’s the foundation of our friendship foundation.
Here we are in 1996 – back in the diz-ay – when our friendship first began.
Is everyday is a sunshine fairytale?  Do we agree on everything?  Do we laugh every second of the day?  No.  But sometimes we do think, this is too good to be true.  Because it is.  There is nothing better than being married to my mate.  Even when it is difficult.  There are so many people, places and things that can divide a marriage.  I believe if a marriage begins with two mates, there is a stronger foundation at the core of that marriage.  Like my Grandparents, my parents and P.A.’s parents, we have chosen humility, selflessness, teach-ability, willingness, trust, respect, hard work, dedication and commitment.


We have chosen to grow… together.

and Blog… together.
I am grateful that on in August of 2012 we will celebrate 15 years of marriage.  And I am hopeful that in August of 2062, we will celebrate 65 years!
I love being married to my mate.
Are you Mates in your Marriage?  I hope and pray so.
Noted. By Les Babs (Part 1 of 4 Marriage/Relationship Records)

supersame, superficial, superblah

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I hate football, actually let me restate that, I hate watching football on TV, in fact ( and I know, as a man,  I am a freak of nature here ), I actually don’t enjoy any sports on TV. Ok, so if I’m gonna be honest with you, I have watched some English premiere league soccer games ( the real deal,”football” in my opinion ), But even that has been few and far between and in the company of other dudes in a pub of some sort with the game on some big screen blaring and the sound of Flogging Molly in the background( is this the obligatory band  to be played at all Irish pubs?- what about the “other” band – you know- U2! ), and fan’s screaming Irish sounding expletive’s at the screen, and Guinness ( of course ). It’s not that I don’t like sports, I actually like them a lot. And I like them enough to think  that in order to enjoy them, you need to get of your duff and actually play them yourself.  But, to each his own….
The truth is, guys like to get together to “watch” sports because all guys know it’s really a disguise. A disguised, Sherlock Holmes, cloak and dagger, stealthy attempt of  building a friendship with other dudes. So instead of a guy saying to another guy, “you want to get together and talk sometime”, which to 99% of guys would be way-weirded out if they were asked that and would probably cause some kind of adverse reaction such as, ” I am going to avoid THAT GUY” for the rest of my life! No instead, guy’s say,

“so, uh, you uh, want to like, um, hang out sometime and uh, watch sports and stuff?”

That is guy-speak for :

” you want to try to awkwardly connect sometime and have some kind of activity going on in the background, so we can choose to either focus on that, so we don’t have to focus on talking about some deep stuff of or God forbid our dang “feelings” ?

Because, at least that way our attention can be diverted by a punt, a kick, or a pitch when the dude goes way to serious on us or challenges us to actually talk about more than the mundane – Right?
The harder than a halfback truth is: We were created for far more than deeper than  football-focused  relationships… Enter the WOMAN,
You remember Adam right, not this blogger Adam, but Adam, the first man. Adam, the one God created out of the earth and breathed life into Him. Adam, the one who walked and talked with God himself. And as we see in the Blog of all Blogs ( The Bible ) in Genesis chp. 2… Adam can also be known as the crocodile hunter, horse whisperer, and lion tamer all-in-one ( beat that Jack Hanna!).Adam was Active, hanging out in the great safari called Eden, walking with God himself, yet even then, God knew something was missing for the Man of all Men- Adam was missing this really, really complicated, totally different, intricately created; Someone. So different to Him, yet a part of Him at the same time. An “other” ( Shameless LOST reference ) called Woman.
NO Activity; no walking in the plains of the savannah with a tiger, or swimming in the sea with a shark, or wrestling with a bear could fulfill a core longing that God put in Adam- the longing for a Woman.
And before I go on, let me set the record straight for all of you reading this thinking, ya we know what Adam had a, “longing for alright”, it was some nookie ( sex in layman’s terms ). Now that is definitely a part of it, but not ALL of it, So keep posted over the next couple weeks, because don’t you worry- we’re gonna go there too.
What God acknowledged, what God recognized, what God instilled in Adam as He does in all of us, is the desire for a,” deeper than sports on tv congeniality” in our relationships. In our relationships with other guys, but even more so- in our relationships with the significant woman in your life ( Yes, your wife! ) .
God’s desire for you, His no joke, flat-out desire for you as a man is to have some real “at your core” conversation with the woman in your life. To turn off all the activities that distract you from her. To settle every exterior voice or activity vying for your attention and give all of that attention to her. To let that voice, you know the one, the one you so often silence, the one within you that is hungry.Hungry within you as a man for some real-life conversation to roll off of your tongue and release some of those thoughts that she has been CREATED to listen to. Those thoughts that have been tied up for so damn long . You can do this– just open yourself up to her a bit- and I will bet the farm on this- I bet you that when you take a step of true friendship, past congeniality with her, beyond just what’s normal, supersame, superficial, or the superblah you will  be able to quote and paraphrase a small Irish band that once sang a  line that should’ve gone a lil’ something like this;
“I think I’ve found what I’m looking for”.


Noted. By Adam  (Part 1 of 4 in Marriage/Relationship Records)

Marriage as Mates

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HAD2BU

My Grandparents recently celebrated their 65th wedding Anniversary this past December…

That’s 780 months of marriage… Or 23,725 days!!! Wow-zers!!!

And the thing is – they really love each other.  Still… 65 years later.   They Love.

They chose each other.

They didn’t just stick it out for the “sake of the kids”… their 4 children are fully grown with their own kids (like ME!) and grandkids (like the wee Babs).  It’s safe to say that they have been empty-nesters for a while now.

They didn’t just stay married for the hell of it, or because marriage is the “cool” thing to do.  Or because it was easy and like a sunshine fairytale everyday the past 23,725 days…

Nope.  They chose humility, selflessness, teach-ability, willingness, trust, respect, hard work, dedication, commitment and they chose to grow… together.

They met when they were 5 years old, my Grandpa would ride his horse thru wind, snow and rain to visit his one true love, they married at age 19 and now they drive a Lexus with a license plate that says “HAD2BU”. They began their journey as best friends… and still are.

One of the foundations of a Marriage must be Friendship.  Marriage as Mates.

I am so grateful that P.A. is my B.F.F., my Bestie, my Mate!  We kicked it off that way.  We met working together at a Christian bookstore ~ Mardel.  The first time I saw P.A. I laughed at him.  I made fun of his outfit (because he was totally overdressed for his interview) and teased him about his cologne (because it was waaaayyyy too strong).  He was cool with all of this.  We loved laughing together, and could laugh at ourselves – *bonus*!  We loved hanging out together and talking for hours, and on our lunch breaks, after work, on the phone, any chance we could get.  And it hasn’t changed… much.   Now we have to usually talk over the needs of the wee Babs, or save all of our conversation up until the evening time.  But we talk.  We go crazy if we haven’t talked enough.  A friendship breeds on conversation.  True, deep, authentic conversation.  We love being mates who talk.

And we laugh.  Still we laugh at each other and at ourselves.  We laugh thru the difficult times of pain, hurt, sorrows and screaming wee Babs. We laugh at life when it is hilarious and those times when it’s not so hilarious.  We love being mates who laugh.

P.A. and I are blessed to have (almost) 15 years of marriage under our belts.  Our hobbies and interests (not Pinterests) are also similar.  Since we met, we have truly enjoyed each others company.  We have traveled throughout the US, Europe, and India.  We dream of traveling more.  We love dreaming together.  We love being together.  We both enjoy being outdoors, staying active, keeping fit, eating healthy, reading, drinking coffee, watching the same goofy PBS documentaries, cooking shows, and movies.  And most of all, at the center of our friendship, is our friendship with Jesus.  He’s the foundation of our friendship foundation.

Here we are in 1996 – back in the diz-ay – when our friendship first began.

Is everyday is a sunshine fairytale?  Do we agree on everything?  Do we laugh every second of the day?  No.  But sometimes we do think, this is too good to be true.  Because it is.  There is nothing better than being married to my mate.  Even when it is difficult.  There are so many people, places and things that can divide a marriage.  I believe if a marriage begins with two mates, there is a stronger foundation at the core of that marriage.  Like my Grandparents, my parents and P.A.’s parents, we have chosen humility, selflessness, teach-ability, willingness, trust, respect, hard work, dedication and commitment.

We have chosen to grow… together.

and Blog… together.

P.A. blogs @www.beadude.wordpress.com, BTW.

I am grateful that on in August of 2012 we will celebrate 15 years of marriage.  And I am hopeful that in August of 2062, we will celebrate 65 years!

I love being married to my mate.

Are you Mates in your Marriage?  I hope and pray so.