Category: God

Yesterday, I lost my mind

Leave a comment
Yesterday was one of those days… You know the ones.  Where your 2-year-old wakes you up at waaaaaay too early o’clock in the morning, screaming, “Ake up Mommy,  AKE UP!” while pulling on your covers. One of my biggest pet peeves is when anyone pulls my covers off of me.  That’s my job.  I don’t need any help with my covers.  Before I could even say, “it’s too early, go back to your bed”, I had a headache to kick off the day.

I was emotionally, mentally and physically drained before I even got out of bed.

I had hit my boiling point.  Frustrations had piled up and were weighing heavily on my shoulders.  My 2-year-old screaming was the thing that sent me over the edge.  You know those things.  The piled up frustrations/worries/fears/anxieties that you hold in/push down/shove under the rug… until something small morphs into something big.  Something simple, that you could normally handle as “no problem”, becomes the biggest deal on the face of the planet…and you lose your mind.
As custom with my emotional roller coaster days, the rest of the day followed suite.  I took out my frustrations on the wee Babs, P.A., the dishes, the dirty laundry, the dinner…. and myself.
I lost my mind.

I ran out of Grace.

Eventually, I put myself to bed.  at 8pm.

But before I gave myself a time out – the dishes, dirty laundry, dinner, P.A. and the wee Bab’s were the brunt of my lack of grace.
I had ZERO patience for P.A. and the wee Babs.  I cleaned the dishes with contempt.  I threw the dirty laundry around.  I wrestled with dinner until… I won.
All of this while I was feeling guilty, and growing more and more angry with myself.
I didn’t really win anything.  I hated the way I was treating my fam, the chores, and the feelings I had toward myself.  But I couldn’t stop the emotional roller coaster of ugly events.
I had lost all sense of reasonableness… and run out of Grace.  
After reflecting, forgiving myself, and asking forgiveness from my family, I could see I needed a break for myself.  Not just a “I need to get away from my kids/out of the house for a few hours” break, but Grace.  I needed Grace… for myself.  2 Corinthians 12:9.

Grace is a Gift from God.

There is no way to manufacture it, conjure it up, or create it within ourselves.  It can only be received from God.  If we don’t accept His Grace for ourselves, we can’t extend it to others.  Only the Grace He gives can overflow from our own hearts, and then be extended to others.

God’s Grace is His patience with us. His forgiveness toward us. His unending love for us.

I am thankful for God’s Gift of Grace, and for those moments when He reminds me how much I need His Grace.  For Myself.  And for others… including my dishes, dirty laundry and dinner.  Amen.
How are you experiencing God’s Grace in your own life?

Noted. By Les Babs

Perspective

Leave a comment

Perspective – a particular evaluation of a situation or facts, especially from one person’s point of view.

Perspective is the lens thru which we view the world.  It’s how we view what happens to us.  It’s how we view other people and what happens to them.
My prayer is that I will have a Kingdom Perspective for my life and for the lives of others.  My hope is that my perspective will be challenged and motivated by Jesus.  His Kingdom come.  His will be done.  On earth as in Heaven.

It’s something as simple as a shirt.  Salem has a shirt that says, “World’s Best Brother”.  And he is.  It’s my favorite shirt of his.  Recently, we painted the girls bedroom.  I told P.A. “make sure Salem doesn’t paint in my favorite shirt.”  And guess what?  P.A. didn’t change Salem’s shirt before they painted, and he got paint on it.  Aaaaarrrrrrrgh!!!
I was upset.  seriously.  for a few hours, I was ridiculous.  My perspective.

My Kingdom Perspective– I am reminded of those who only have dirty or torn shirts to wear.  Or those who don’t have any shirt at all.  Salem still wears his red “World’s Best Brother” shirt with pride and the green paint on it.  Who cares?!?  He surely doesn’t.  And I don’t either… anymore.
It’s something like those days when momma is sick, helpless and can’t take care of herself or her wee Babs.  This sucks.  I hate my life.  My perspective.

My Kingdom Perspective– I will be well again.  I am blessed to have P.A. and friends who surround me, call, text and check on me.  Offer to go to the store for me.  Help to  take care of me and the wee Babs.  I can lean on the Lord in my weakness and He will give me strength. Matthew 11:28-30.
It’s something like road separation.  Living 1,000 miles my family in Oklahoma & 2,500 miles away from P.A.’s family in Oregon.  This really sucks.  Something huge is missing.  We see our families once or twice a year.  The wee Babs are not growing up around their Grands.  This is wrong.  This can get me really. down. in. the. dumps.  My perspective.
My Kingdom Perspective- We are not alone.  We are financially and physically able to see our families once or twice a year, with Skype internet chats additionally sprinkled on top.  I am overwhelmed by the church family that God has surrounded us with.  He has placed us here for this time, and for His purpose.  Jeremiah 29:11.  God can do great things thru us when we are surrendered to His call on our lives.  No matter where that takes us.  His Kingdom Come. His will be done.
It’s something like almost dying.  When Salem was 3 mos old, he almost died.  He turned blue.  He was barely breathing.  Sometimes I forget this.  I take our little man for granted.  I have never been so scared in my life.  My perspective.
My Kingdom Perspective– P.A. had a “nudge” to check on Salem that night.  If he hadn’t… well, we don’t know.  We trust the Lord.  Our wee Babs are gifts from God.  Our response is to surrender and parent them back to Jesus.  No moments for granted.  God rescued Salem.  He is now a 5-year-old prayer warrior.  If anyone is sick, his response is To Pray.
It’s something like a “Soul Surfer”.  We watched this movie last night.  A lost arm.  A lost dream.  Or the losses we’ve experienced [insert list here… I will, in time…] Any loss can cause hopelessness.  Anger. Despair.  My perspective.
My Kingdom Perspective– Loss can cause Gain.  The “Soul Surfer” realized her purpose of “embracing more people with one arm, than she ever did with two.”  She was able to bring her love of the water and share it with the people of Thailand; removing fear, bringing life back into water, after the water had brought so much death.  Reflecting on loss, I am reminded of what I have.  The breath I take.  The gift of today. The people I can love.  The sight of God movements and Everyday miracles.
What is your perspective?

Noted. By Les Babs

Xtreme Worship

Leave a comment
I am not a fan of sports… but I AM a fan of yelling.  This seems to be a requirement for watching sports.  Except for golf… maybe?

Even though I like yelling, I can’t think of anything I’d rather NOT be doing than watching sports… unless they are Xtreme.  Like you might die as a result.  Like hiking Mt. Everest or kayaking down the cru-zaziest rapids.  I can engage in watching these stories of survival.  Someone testing their limits.  Like Bear Grylls.  Someone giving their all… risking their lives for what they love.

Since I am not a fan of sports, I have decided to create a new sport that I love.
It’s called Xtreme Worship.

It’s dirty.  It’s messy.  You will get sweaty.  It’s not always pretty.  You might look foolish while doing it.  2 Samuel 6:16.  You will be misunderstood.  You might lose some friends.  It requires risk.  Holding Nothing Back, baby.

Every Sunday, I get to play Xtreme Worship.  

And even during the week, I get to play Xtreme Worship with P.A. and our wee Babs, when we have family dance parties in our living room.  This is seriously my favorite sport.

In this sport, you are asked to risk your life.  Even unto death.  You are called to lose your life for Someone.  Jesus.  (Matthew 10:39).  This is Xtreme Worship.

Unlike basketball, baseball or any other sport (even hiking to Mt. Everest), the end is not a trophy, an accolade, or even a pat on the back. Everyone who participates, everyone who fully gives their lives to Xtreme Worship wins.  You win a relationship with Jesus.  A relationship that results in a New Life, a Changed Heart, True Love, Unexplainable Peace, and Unquenchable Joy.

Xtreme Worship is a difficult sport.  It’s not for the weary, the weak or the faint of heart.  It requires strength, endurance, and patience.  Practice does not make perfect.  You will give your heart and experience brokenness, pain, go thru trials, and share in sufferings.  But count it as JOY b/c the prize is JESUS, baby!  (James 1:2 and Philippians 3:12-16)

And He is worth it.  Jesus is worthy of all my Xtreme Worship.

Noted. By Les Babs

embrace the suckiness

Leave a comment
Sometimes life can really suck. And there are levels of suckiness. And we all have varying levels of tolerance for the suckiness that enters our lives.

Embrace the suckiness.

This is an anonymous quote (by one our friends).  Sometimes life sucks for a day or two, or a week, or a month or even years… but there are ways we can embrace it.  And grow from it.
Now we are going to explore 3 levels of suckiness and how to embrace them.

Level 1. an Annoyance.  You have a Ginormous zit on your eyebrow line (at least that’s what I’ve got going on the last few days) or it’s cloudy outside and you’re a sunshine kind of gal (or guy) or you had a terrible day at work/school… or your $4 mocha was accidentally thrown away.

Embracing Level 1. Cover up your zit with tons of make-up.  Or let it shine.  Deal with the clouds. Or don’t live in central Ohio.  Get over the bad day, tomorrow will be better.  Buy another mocha.

Level 2.  A strain.  A health strain.  Your kids are sick, up all night puking, so you are cranky b/c you didn’t get any sleep.  Or you are sick and need to work.  Or you AND your kids are sick (this is a level 2.5)  Or there is a strain on your marriage or a friendship.  Or you are having difficulty with your job.  Or a financial strain.

Embracing Level 2.  This can be tricky – one of my examples below.

Level 3.  A loss.  Personally.  Financially.  Relationally.  A loss of trust.  Or loss of a loved one.

Embracing Level 3.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding…” Proverbs 3:5  This is difficult, and is not always easy to do.  Trust in the Lord gives way to surrender and produces an attitude of thankfulness, which leads to an unexplainable peace and joy, despite circumstances.

Then there are those days I just forget the make-up, pull my hair back, put on my stretchy pants and consume large amounts of coffee to get thru and embrace the suckiness.

Today was one of those days.  It was a level 2.  Selah was up all night puking.  Which meant I was up all night cleaning.  She puked every hour.  I slept a little on the floor at the end of her bed in btwn cleanings.  As I laid on the floor, I kept thinking of funny sayings in the book “Stuff Christians Like” by Jonathan Acuff (a must read btw).  I was embracing the suckiness with laughter.  When I was washing the 6 extra loads of puke laundry, I embraced the suckiness, thankful for our washing machine.  Selah slept most of the day.  She had a fever and was worn out from being up all night.  I was thankful for the extra time I had to cuddle with her, and hold her close.
                                                      
 Then she woke up and had a little bit of water.  And went back to sleep on the floor.  Her brother and sister played around her as she laid in the middle of the living room.  I was thankful she was able to rest, even with her sibs running in circles around her.
                                                                                            
Later she moved into the kitchen and had a few bites of cracker.  I was cooking dinner by this time.  She laid down on the kitchen floor to be near me.  I was thankful to be near her.
This morning, she had her 2-year-old check up previously scheduled – coincidence – so we went to see the Dr.  From the moment we entered the office, she was crying the entire time, “I want daaaaadddddyyyyyy!” and raising the suckiness to a level 2.3.  Then I started crying in the Pediatric lobby while the receptionist stared at me from behind the glass with sympathy… or disgust, I couldn’t tell as tears welled up in my own eyes.  Eventually I embraced the suckiness, thankful that Selah wasn’t throwing up anymore…

After we got back home, I let her have some milk.  Bad idea.  How can I deny my baby milk?  A few minutes later, the chunks started flying again.  Salem comments, “It looks like shaving cream!”  Great observation.  I was thinking cottage cheese.  He’s a bright boy.  Meanwhile, Soleil turns queezy and hides to avoid all physical and visual contact.

Thankfully, today I wasn’t sick.  I’ve been there, done that.  Those days when momma PLUS kids are sick, I try to embrace that suckiness level 2.5.  Being sick and taking care of my wee Babs 
is difficult really sucks.  But I can embrace it…eventually.  If I’m sick, I’m thinking Yes!  I’m gonna lose a quick 5 lbs!  and sure it will come back, but for a few days I get to enjoy being 5 lbs lighter.

We’ve had many opportunities to embrace the suckiness.  On all levels.  Annoyances, Strains and Losses.  Of friendships.  Being a laid off of work.  A miscarriage.  And in time I will share those stories and how we embraced them.  And how we have grown.

How will you embrace the suckiness?

36 minutes

Leave a comment
What can you do with 36 minutes?

Watch a t.v. show… run an errand… eat at meal… have sex… (but please, only if you’re married.)

There are a countless number of things you can do with 36 minutes.  We are given 1,440 minutes in a day.  With this time, there are things we need to do.  We need to work.  We need to accomplish tasks.  We need to eat.  We need to sleep.  (Ecclesiastes 3).

This time is a gift.  Through freedom in Christ, we are not be bound by time, but we are called and challenged to use it wisely.

Can you change your life in 36 minutes?   Yes.  I believe you can.

In 36 minutes, I can waste a lot of time.  I can walk around my house in circles, deciding what I need to be doing, and end up doing nothing.  I can stress out about the nothing that I did when I should have been doing something.  I can look at the pile of clothes that needs to be put away and see the dishes stacking up and stare at the mop that is rarely used.  I can zone out for 36 minutes and then snap out of it thinking, “Where has all my time gone?

Or… I can change my life.  I want to wisely use ALL of the 1,440 minutes given to me today!
In 36 minutes, I can run 3 miles.  6 days a week, most weeks, I run – or walk fast on days I don’t feel like running 3 miles.  Now, it’s not like I wake up every morning thinking “Yea!  I get to spend 36 minutes with my treadmill today!”.  Though the days when the weather is nice and I have the time to run outside, I do say “Yea, I ♥ Running!”  And it takes me less than 36 minutes to run 3 miles outside.  “Yea, more minutes in my day!”  Still most days, I’m with my treadmill.  And it takes discipline.  I know if I invest 36 minutes a day exercising, I will feel better, and ultimately focus less on myself and more on others because I feel good about my health.

But my 36 minutes isn’t only an investment for the outside.  

I can invest my 36 minutes on my soul.  I can pray while I am running.  It’s genius, really.  Multi-tasking.  God has given us the gift of a relationship with Him.  I can spend time talking with Him in prayer while I am running.  Sure, I will probably be a little more winded and out of breath if I’m talking/praying while running – but He understands.  He knows my heart.  Better than I do.  (Ezekiel 36:26).
And my 36 minutes is not all about me.  

In 36 minutes, I can spend time with those I love and those I am called to love.  I can spend quality time with P.A. and our wee Babs.  I can love the person in front of me, as Christ would do. I can spend my 36 minutes focused on someone else’s life.  This is a life-changing investment.

In 36 minutes, I can read the Bible.  This is daily discipline.  It is not always easy.  Spending time with God and learning and studying and meditating on His Word is a life-changing investment.  36 minutes in the Bible will always CHANGE MY LIFE.

Time is a God-given gift.  Every 36 minutes we have is a gift.  How will you invest 36 minutes today?

Noted. By Les Babs